


Testing- Alpha/Beta/Gamma

by jacksonja



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-27 06:18:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 25,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15679710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksonja/pseuds/jacksonja
Summary: Penny learns through experience something of the Many World's theory.





	1. Alpha

**Author's Note:**

> Shenny mostly, sort of. Major character death sort of, depends on which world you are in, really. This fic isn't meant to be canon to the show so much as influenced by the film Sliding Doors.
> 
> Others Own Big Bang Theory, I'm just playing with the toys.

Sheldon hated the cold here. Nebraska in January, he couldn’t imagine how Penny grew up in this environment much less loved it for winter sports. The sky was brilliant cobalt without a cloud. The land was bleak and frozen. It was hard to believe the place ever turned green and warm to look at it in winter. 

He paused a second to look at the episode of Doctor Who that the woman driving had restarted once they were parked. It was the season 5 finale, Big Bang, with Matt Smith as the Doctor. Rory was holding his dead girlfriend and later wife, Amy.

RORY: So the universe ended. You missed that, in 102 AD. I suppose this means you and I never get born at all. Twice, in my case. You would have laughed at that. Please laugh. The Doctor said the universe was huge and ridiculous, and sometimes there were miracles. I could do with a ridiculous miracle about now.

‘Enjoy the episode, doctor.’ Sheldon murmured to the woman as he opened the door.

‘Hm hm, close the door quick, it is cold outside.’ She responded with her distinctive Irish lilt while continuing to watch the episode.

Sheldon picked up the small valise from the door side holder of the rental car got out and closed the door. He waved to the woman but she was now very engrossed in the episode. She had said this was her favorite one.

Sheldon turned and walked up the silent hillside. He made this pilgrimage every January 15th in spite of the weather. Maybe, he did it because of the weather this time of year. He wasn’t one to anthropomorphize the elements but the season matched his mood when it came time to see Penny again. This was a most important reunion. He had finally won his Nobel Prize. He was sure she’d want to know about it.

Sheldon stopped 20 paces from the oak tree at the summit of the hill just as he did every year. ‘Hello, Penny. It’s me again.’

The stark reply was always the same etched in the winter cold granite stone. ‘Penelope ‘Penny’ Marie Queen, Beloved Daughter, Dec 2, 1985-Jan 15, 2019’


	2. Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, got that start out of the way, but let's not leave Penny there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Influenced by Sliding Doors and Multiple Worlds, let's see one.

Penny felt the headache from her toes up. A flash of pain and light that gave her a rush of panic that she was having an aneurism scared her but it subsided as quickly as it came. She sat down on the bed next to her and closed her eyes for a few seconds. ‘What the hell?’ She was in the street down from her home so why was there a bed here? How was she even in a room when she’d been outside? Had she been roofied?

Penny slowly opened her eyes again and scanned the bedroom. She wondered if she should call a doctor but then she asked herself how she got into her old bedroom when she’d last been walking down the street to get a cab to Howard and Bernadette’s place. She blinked again and looked around in perplexity. Her Care Bears were lined up, her music was playing and she hadn’t seen this apartment like this since the day she moved into 2311 N Los Robles Ave 4B. ‘Holy crap on a cracker!’

Penny walked in a daze into the bathroom to splash some water on her face. She looked in the mirror. She saw another face. It was her own face but from a dozen years ago. She almost didn’t recognize that young woman who stared back at her. There were no lines from grimacing and aging. There was no sadness in her eyes from settling for less than her dreams looking back at her. Penny was dumbfounded, perplexed at being on the other side of the looking glass. She reached up tentatively to the cool glass and touched the face there. Minutes passed, ‘I missed you.’ The whisper broke her heart to hear.

Like a sleepwalker, Penny wended her way through the once familiar past. It had to be a dream but no Brad Pitt showed up to turn into a frog and she would definitely be wearing those Jimmy Choo’s she saw last week instead of her old Ugg boots. She paused at the table by the door and rummaged through the pictures and books piled there.

Penny lost herself in the memories this lost world evoked until she heard voices in the hall. She turned to the opened door and saw Leonard and Sheldon of long ago.

‘Oh, hi!’ Penny couldn’t remember them looking this young. Time is an unforgiving sculptor of memory.

Leonard: ‘Hi.’

Sheldon: ‘Hi.’

Leonard: ‘Hi.’

Sheldon: ‘Hi.’

‘Hi?’ Penny was a bit thunderstruck. This was so much like how she remembered this day. Was it still Deja Vous when the memory really did happen before?


	3. Gamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our third world where we wonder what happened to young Penny?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Influenced by Sliding Doors what happens to Penny in some other worlds?

Pain. Everything hurt, especially her head. Penny had no idea why she was feeling so awful. Her head was pounding in time with her pulse and it was excruciating. It was worse than any hangover she ever remembered. Her whole body ached worse than the time she had gotten thrown and trampled at her first rodeo practice. She tried to move her hand and became aware of restraints holding her and she started to panic a bit. She had to open her eyes and see what was happening to her but her eyelids felt glued shut like she had been sleeping for days. She forced her eyes open and looked around. She saw a white and tan walled hospital room. She was connected to IV bottles and machines she had only ever seen on TV. She guessed she must have been in some kind of serious accident.

A short man with glasses was reading a book in the corner chair by the window. Penny tried to get his attention. ‘Um… ahh…’ It was too much to get more than that out. She felt like her voice hadn’t been used in a long time.

The man looked up in surprise and put the book down and walked over to Penny’s bed. She got alarmed when he sat down on the bed and started stroking her face. ‘Hey, honey, how are you?’

That stroking and having her hands restrained sent Penny’s adrenalin skyrocketing. ‘Get away from me! Stop touching me! Who the hell are you? Help!’

A nurse rushed into the room. Already brought by the alarms from the machinery, Penny’s screams for help made her come in forcefully and authoritative. ‘Sir, you will have to leave immediately!’

‘It’s OK, I’m her husband.’ Leonard tried not sounding shocked and angry but it wasn’t working.

‘The hell you are, get him away from me!’ Her rising blood pressure turned Penny’s awful headache into blinding pain making her almost choke out the rest in tears. ‘Get him out of here!’

Leonard became whiny and surly with being told to leave again by the nurse. ‘But, I’m her husband!’

The guy was starting to terrify Penny because she was trapped in the hospital bed. None of this made any sense to her. Two more men came in, one taller than the glasses guy and wearing some kind of superhero T-shirt with thermals underneath. The other was shorter than the other two and had a turtleneck shirt on. They each grabbed one of the glasses guy’s arms and forced walked him away from the bed. The shorter one spoke firmly. ‘Come on, Leonard, she doesn’t want you here.’ The taller one spoke with a noticeable Texas twang. ‘You hardly have any business pushing husbandly rights, Leonard, now come on.’ They hurried the glasses guy out of the room to Penny’s great relief.

Penny saw the nurse adjusting one of the IV bottles. ‘What’s that? What are you doing to me?’

The nurse stepped away from the IV and smoothed out the blankets. She then started undoing the restraints. ‘I’m Nurse Simmons and you are being treated by Dr. Madyan. That IV is a pain reliever which I can adjust for you if you are in any pain. I expect your higher blood pressure is making something of a headache.’ The nurse finished undoing the restraints.

‘I do have an awful headache. Why was I tied to the bed?’

‘You have been unconscious for several weeks, Mrs. Hofstadter, the restraints were to keep you from hurting yourself.’ The nurse explained while she returned to adjusting the IV.

‘Who? My name is Queen, Penelope Queen.’


	4. Alpha-Sheldon to Alpha-Sheldon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheldon's visit to Penny continues.

Alpha- Sheldon  
‘It’s a clear day today, cold too. It’s a lot like the first time I came here. Well, the first time after the funeral. I should thank Amy for that idea. I might never have come if she hadn’t insisted. I missed you too much to come back.’

Alpha-Sheldon  
‘Sheldon, you have been here every day for the last two weeks. This is not a productive use of your time.’ Amy wanted Sheldon to come home. He was not going to make Penny’s recovery any more likely by being here. The swelling in her brain was reduced but she would still need time in the medical coma.

‘A productive use of my time can be made on my laptop. I have accomplished considerable work today and the university is satisfied with my reasons for being here.’ Sheldon never took his eyes from Penny the whole time he spoke. Amy noted that he’d never looked from Penny even when she’d come into the room.

‘Sheldon, as a neurologist, I can assure you that you are making no difference to Penny’s recovery and all the while you are doing no good to your health here.’

‘Two weeks ago you insisted it was better for me to ignore Penny’s voicemail and attend to you. I have regretted that decision every day since. I will not leave her, now.’

‘Sheldon, could you look at me for once, here?’ Amy knew how close Penny and Sheldon were. It stunned her to discover Sheldon was Penny’s contact in case of medical emergencies instead of Leonard and that she was his as well. She didn’t understand it since they had almost nothing in common but she never really understood the connection between them. The woman had an uncanny knack for getting inside people. ‘This is not your fault or your responsibility, Sheldon. You didn’t drive that car into Penny. Maybe, if you had met Penny, you might both be here or worse.’

Sheldon looked back at Penny and brushed her hand with his fingers. ‘Or I might have been here instead. I could handle that possibility better.’

Amy frowned at that. ‘How would Penny sitting here, watching you be better for her?’

‘She wouldn’t be on the edge of death. She wouldn’t be losing a part of herself.’ Sheldon couldn’t say when or why that came to be but when he first saw her lying here he realized Penny was the only one outside his family that he felt inseparable from.

‘And, how do you think I would feel being here with you in a coma?’ Amy regretted the question as soon as she asked it.

‘I assume you would have more productive uses for your time since your presence would not aid the healing process.’ Sheldon said it without animosity. ‘It is a valid summation of the situation, Amy Farah-Fowler but valid logic is not something that has ever applied adequately to Penny.’

Amy clenched her hands in confused frustration. No matter what she did Penny would always be closer to Sheldon than she was. What scared her was she believed she would never get closer to Sheldon without Penny. She knew Sheldon well enough to tell how uncomfortable he was with intense emotion. Penny’s accident had already shut her out from him these last two weeks. Her death would be the end of them as a couple, of that Amy was certain as she watched Sheldon hold Penny’s hand.


	5. Alpha-Sheldon to Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see what happens in the other worlds, too.

Alpha- Sheldon  
‘It’s ironic that it was that first visit here that ended Amy’s quest to be my girlfriend. We have been much happier acquaintances ever since. I do wonder, Penny, if we might have been happier if I had been more confident that time I asked you for a date.’

Beta  
Leonard’s crush was obvious. He saw a pretty girl and there was nothing else to know. ‘We don’t mean to interrupt, we live across the hall.’

‘Oh, that’s nice.’ Penny had no idea where to go with that. It was a lot to process that this first meeting was happening all over again.

‘Oh… uh… no… we don’t live together… um… we live together but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms.’

‘Oh, okay,’ Got to get that hetero clarity out there. Amazing what a decade older can notice was Penny’s thought at that. ‘well, guess I’m your new neighbor, Penny.’

Leonard introduced them both. ‘Leonard, Sheldon.’

Penny was still feeling Rod Serling had taken control of her life. ‘Hi.’

Leonard. ‘Hi.’

Sheldon. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi.’ Penny couldn’t help but see Sheldon’s unease at meeting someone new as well as his wanting to do so. It surprised her how close his feelings were to the surface.

‘Hi. Well, uh, oh, welcome to the building.’ Leonard was stumbling to keep the conversation going but Penny needed this to stop, to have Sheldon finally say Bazinga.

‘Thank you, maybe we can have coffee sometime.’ Penny needed something normal right away. Her first thought was vodka but she wasn’t sure if she had any. She didn’t even know what was in her apartment after a dozen years of not having seen this day.

‘Oh, great.’ Leonard kept talking.

‘Great.’ Penny needed her door shut, she needed to breath.

‘Great.’ Sheldon sounded normal to Penny’s ear. He at least wanted this done.

‘Great. Well, bye.’ Leonard sounded like a kid not getting the toy he wanted. Penny thought that ought to have annoyed her back then, maybe it had? She wished she’d hung on to that annoyance.

‘Bye.’ Let this end was Penny’s main thought.

‘Bye.’ Sheldon sounded done. That almost made Penny sad.

‘Bye.’ Leonard didn’t sound done. That didn’t make her sad at all, quite the opposite.

Penny closed the door to her apartment and leaned against it in a huff of anxieties. Was she going nuts being foremost in her thoughts? ‘I was going to Howard and Bernadette’s. How could I be here, now, in 2006? That is just not possible.’ Maybe it was one of Sheldon’s Star Trek quantum whack a doodle things? She would ask him but that would make her sound like a candidate for a straitjacket that she was feeling like at the moment. ‘God, I could use Sheldon’s physics stuff to figure out what’s happened to me.’ She didn’t have much more time to think when there was a knock on her door. ‘If past is prologue, that should be Leonard with an invite to Indian food.’

Penny held her breath like she was going to dive into a pool or off Niagara Falls and opened her door, again. Another round of ‘Hi’ ensued.

Leonard made his invitation that was transparently trying to not to sound nervous but was failing. ‘Anyway, um. We brought home Indian food. And, um. I know that moving can be stressful, and I find that when I’m undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect. Also, curry is a natural laxative, and I don’t have to tell you that, uh, a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about.’

‘Leonard, I’m not an expert here but I believe in the context of a luncheon invitation, you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.’ 

Penny almost started laughing at that. Sheldon tried bailing Leonard out of an embarrassing social faux pas. He really never was as clueless as I thought. He was always just self-absorbed in his routines and didn’t easily look outside them. ‘Oh, you’re inviting me over to eat?’ 

‘Uh, yes.’ Leonard’s voice was his hopeful voice with those puppy dog eyes. Penny used to find that cute, now, she wondered why she ever did.

‘Oh, that’s so nice, Leon, I’d love to.’

‘Uh, great, um… the name’s Leonard.’

‘So, what do you guys do for fun around here?’ Penny headed at a quick step over to 4A. She was hungry, after all. She needed Sheldon, too.

‘Well, today we tried masturbating for money.’ TMI, Moonpie, TMI, Penny thought happily.


	6. Alpha-Sheldon to Alpha-Penny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beta Penny is a little mixed up and angry with Leonard, let's find out a little why.

Alpha-Sheldon  
Instead, you ended up with Leonard. I was jealous or envious or lonely, I can’t describe it. I am sorry that I wasn’t there for you when it was important.

Alpha-Penny  
‘I’ll put the dinner in the oven, Leonard. Bye.’ Penny put her phone down and poured her third glass of wine. She closed her eyes. Someday, she wouldn’t open them again. It was her only relief. She had left Nebraska because she didn’t want a dead end life being some farmer’s wife popping out babies. She used to have dreams of being an actress, once. She sipped her glass of wine and looked down at the pregnancy test next to the bottle of chardonnay. She put her head back and closed her eyes again. She wondered how long she’d have to wait.

The knock at the door annoyed her. She gulped down the wine and poured another glass before going to answer it.

She opened the door and saw her leering sort of friend, Howard Wolowitz. ‘Hey, Howard, what brings you knocking?’

Howard could smell the wine breath but didn’t mention anything about it. ‘Hi Penny, do you mind if I come in? Bernadette and I have been talking and we thought there were some things we should tell you about? I did, anyway.’ Howard was more awkward than usual talking to her. It was funnier still that there were no silly come on lines but Penny was willing to take what she could get.

‘Sure, come on in.’

Penny ushered them into the living room and plonked herself back down with her wine. Howard sat across from her with a thin smile and a quick glance at the nearly empty bottle.

‘Leonard’s not coming back home soon, I guess?’

‘Nope, another late lab night so I get to live the wild life.’ Penny picked up her wine and took a sizeable gulp. ‘Care to join me, or just watch?’ There was a clear note of hostility there.

‘I’m good. I came over to talk about Leonard, actually.’ Howard shifted a little uneasily, unsure how Penny would take the news he had.

‘Christ, can’t I have a night’s peace from him? I need to get another live round before that.’ Penny got up to go to the kitchen for another bottle of wine.

‘Hey, I can say what I have to say pretty quick, just give me a second and I promise I will pour us both a glass afterwards, OK?’ Howard wanted Penny on the brighter side of sloshed if possible for this news.

Penny looked at him tiredly, fell back on the couch, and huffed in resignation. ‘Fine, hit me with it.’

‘Like I said, Bernie and I have discussed this but she doesn’t know I’m here because she thinks we ought to keep our noses out of your marriage.’

‘You said this would be quick, Howard.’ She had a dark glimmering of what Howard was beating around the bush about. She knew Leonard after all.

‘I guess you’ve suspected Leonard is cheating on you but that’s not everything.’ Howard could barely look at Penny. She had a flinty eyed moroseness to her but she only nodded her agreement with the story so far. ‘He was asking me today about what he should do over his ‘girlfriend’ because she told him she was pregnant. He was wondering if he should get a divorce and marry her because you didn’t want to have kids very much.’

Penny nodded at the story, pursed her lips a second then quietly stood up for a few seconds. She picked up her glass and went to the kitchen to open another bottle of wine. Howard sat wondering if he had made things worse when he heard glasses shattering loudly. He ran to the kitchen area. ‘Penny! Are you alright?’ He saw Penny standing in the middle of the kitchen and the shelf of wine glasses was reduced to strewn and broken shards by the glass Penny had thrown at them. 

‘How long have I been fucking drunk, Howard?’ She slumped down to the floor in sobs. The day kept getting worse and she had nothing left in her to hold it together anymore.

Howard sat on the floor with Penny and hugged her while she cried. There was nothing he could think to say, nothing he could do to make this better. He felt like a crappy friend but he’d have felt worse if he hadn’t told Penny.

When Penny started getting ahold of her emotions again, Howard got her a wet towel and some bottled water. Penny drank half the water in one go and took a few breaths. She got up a little unsteadily and looked at the mess of glass. ‘To hell with it.’ She got a second water bottle. ‘Get what you want Howard, let’s talk some more in the living room.’ Howard grabbed a soda from the fridge and followed along.


	7. Alpha-Sheldon to Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny replays day one with a few advantages and a touch of disturbance from her past.

Alpha-Sheldon  
‘I like to think things happened differently in some other universe. I hope that Many Worlds Theory is right if only so you aren’t here.’

Beta  
Penny breezed into 4A to join the guys for lunch but she had to check her rush. These two of Sheldon and Leonard didn’t know her. The room looked suddenly a foreign land. She didn’t belong here, not as far as they knew. She was just the new neighbor.

‘Okay, well, make yourself at home.’

‘Okay, thank you, Lee.’

‘Uh, Leonard… You’re very welcome.’ Leonard wanted her attention, Penny could hear it but she had Sheldon on her mind. She remembered that first day; she was living it again, after all. She’d seen these boards so many times. For once, she wished she could read it like Sheldon did. She might get some idea how she ended up a dozen years in the past.

‘This looks like some serious stuff, Sheldon, did you do this?’

‘Yes, this is my work.’ Penny smiled at Sheldon’s evident pride in his work. He moved to the side of his board and leaned up against it. He looked like he was relaxed. Sheldon liked the familiar and this board and its content were home to him.

‘Wow, it’s some kind of quantum mechanics, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there, that’s just a joke, it’s a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation. Are you a physicist?’ Sheldon’s eyes lit that intense blue they got when he found something exciting.

‘Me, no, I’m just an actress. I couldn’t do this math stuff; you just read a lot for roles. So, you’re like one of those beautiful mind guys?’ Penny was surprised how charming Sheldon could be when he forgot about his anxieties like now when he could share his passion for his work.

‘Yeah.’ Sheldon looked like he was actually flirting with her. Penny returned the smile with all her heart. He was an anchor to sanity at the moment.

‘This is really impressive stuff.’ Penny stepped closer to Sheldon but Leonard had to start talking.

‘I have a board. If you like boards, this is my board.’ Leonard was jealous of her attention to Sheldon. He was always jealous of it, right from the beginning. She could hear it now.

Penny saw Sheldon’s eyes lose some of their vibrancy. He was expecting her to walk away. He was the weird one, the robot. Penny wished Leonard could learn to shut up and not be jealous when he wasn’t the center of attention. But this is where everything changes. Sheldon had told her once of a Many Worlds idea. All our possible choices play out in other universes. She wondered, abruptly, if that was what was happening to her? 

‘That’s nice, Louis.’ Penny took another step closer to Sheldon’s board. ‘So, what’s the joke you said about Born, is it a spy joke, like Jason Bourne?’

‘Leonard, my name is Leonard.’ Leonard sounded miffed.

Sheldon looked perplexed a second then did his gasping laugh. The vibrancy had returned to his eyes as well. ‘No, Max Born, the physicist. He wasn’t a spy, though that did sound like a title to one of those movies.’

‘Um, yeah, so what’s the joke; maybe, I could use it in an audition for a scientist role?’

Leonard shifted uneasily. He wanted to break up whatever this was between Sheldon and Penny. Here was an unbelievably hot babe actress who was into science. It was only a matter of time before Sheldon’s craziness scared her off. ‘I’m going to make some coffee, would you like some, Penny?’

‘No thanks, Les.’ Penny kept focused on the explanation about the joke. ‘Approximation, ha, that could work in an audition, thanks, Sheldon. By the way, do you have some bottled water? Moving is thirsty work.’ Penny asked brightly as she moved to the couch settling herself in Sheldon’s spot without thinking.

‘That’s my spot.’ Sheldon got his serious face on. 

Penny caught Leonard’s eye roll and half smirk. He wanted Sheldon’s weirdness to scare the hot girl. Penny just smiled at Sheldon and scooted over into where she would have usually sat by Sheldon. ‘It seemed the best spot.’

Sheldon nodded in agreement. ‘In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm,-‘

‘and yet it wouldn’t be so close as to cause perspiration.’ Penny finished. She remembered the summertime benefits. ‘and in the summer it would be directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there.’

Sheldon smiled in acknowledgement. ‘Not only that, it faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation,-‘

Penny finished the thought. ‘nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion, and now we can sit next to each other. You got any bottled water, Sheldon?’

Sheldon leaped into action for her. ‘I’ll get it right away. Would you care for some cookies?’

‘Lovely.’ Penny felt happy, almost normal for a moment.

Leonard just stirred his coffee watching the scene unfold in front of him. He was jealous of the attention Penny was paying Sheldon but watching her riff the same list of wackiness over the couch seat he got a feeling of distinct queasiness.


	8. Alpha-Sheldon to Gamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Penny got introduced to the 4A folks, let's get the introductions for our other Penny.

Alpha-Sheldon  
‘Howard says hi. He is back in space, again. Bernadette wasn’t happy with that but he loves the work. He sent you a present.’ Sheldon opened the valise and took out a small envelope. He got out his Swiss army knife and dug a small cavity next to the headstone. He opened the envelope and poured the few tiny grains of sand in the envelope in the cavity. ‘He said these grains are samples from one of the Mars probes. He was sure he got them without anyone finding out. If you don’t hear from me again, I’m in a country without an extradition treaty.’

Gamma  
Dr. Madyan arrived after being called about her patient’s status. The doctor spent several minutes explaining Penny’s condition to her. A drunk driver had overturned and the rolling vehicle had crashed into Penny when she’d been crossing the street near her home. The EMTs were amazed she made it to the hospital alive. She’d suffered massive head trauma and significant internal injuries. The surgery to save her life had taken over eight hours. She had been in a medically induced coma for the first week while the swelling in her brain subsided.

‘Are you sure you remember nothing of being married, Penny?’ Dr. Madyan thought the head injury was the reason for Penny’s memory loss but Penny’s state of mind was peculiar. Memory loss is patchy and incomplete. Penny seemed to have just had everything, all of the last 12 years wiped out altogether.

‘Like I said, the last thing I remember was being in my new bedroom. I had just moved into my apartment on N. Los Robles Ave. It was a Saturday. I had just finished setting up my Care Bear collection. I can remember everything before that fine like it was yesterday but I get to being in my bedroom and I remember light and pain like a massive headache and I woke up here. Bedroom in 2006 to here and now, doctor, nothing in between.’

Dr. Madyan had to admit Penny’s memory loss was odd. Memory loss was usually partial some things forgotten others retained at times remembered unconsciously but this did seem complete. Also, Penny was recalling information from twelve years ago with remarkable clarity much like she had lived it recently. She thought some recent things might help her. ‘Now, that you are awake, maybe some of this will help.’ The doctor gave Penny a small box that held her smartphone and jewelry and purse. The doctor pulled out one item, a Star of David necklace. ‘This, in particular, you were holding it. I think you might have grabbed it just before the collision. You were holding it in a death grip. We thought we’d have to use a muscle relaxant to get you to release it. Does it bring back any memories?’

It was small and light, the silver of the chain and star felt almost weightless. She wondered if it was actually silver it was so light. ‘I don’t remember a thing about it. I’m not even Jewish but it must have been important. I guess I should keep it.’ Dr. Madyan helped Penny fasten the necklace. The pain relievers were making her feel a lot better so she wanted to start finding out more about what had happened to her.

‘How did I get here?’

‘Mr. Wolowitz, the shorter one who got your…’ Dr. Madyan paused a bit when Penny’s eyes narrowed. ‘who got Mr. Hofstadter out of here came to the hospital in the ambulance with you. When I spoke with him, he talked as if he was aware of a lot of things that night. If you don’t want to talk with Mr. Hofstadter, you might try speaking with Mr. Wolowitz, tomorrow, Howard Wolowitz.’

‘I’d like to speak with him, now, if I could. I feel OK.’

‘That’s the drugs talking. I’d like you to have a real night’s sleep instead of being under heavy medication for sleep before you start exerting yourself too much.’ Dr. Madyan hoped Penny wouldn’t push the issue and her health, yet.

‘How about I just say hi to him and the other guy, the tall one, I’d like to thank them for getting that Leonard guy out of here.’

Dr. Madyan nodded in agreement, it was important for Penny to start taking control of her life, especially, with the memory loss. ‘Alright, one at a time, five minutes each, OK?’  
‘Thank you, doctor.’

A few minutes later, the shorter guy, Howard, came in. ‘Hey, Penny, how are you doing?’

‘Not bad for surviving a car wreck and losing my memory, I guess. The doctor said your name was Howard, yeah?’ Penny wished some memory would get jogged but there was nothing.

‘Yeah, the doctor told us about the memory thing. I’m sure things will start coming back when you get better.’

‘Wolowitz, isn’t that your last name?’

‘Yeah, and?’

‘It’s Jewish, yeah?’ Howard nodded. Penny drew out the Star of David necklace from under the hospital gown. ‘I’m not, but they said I was wearing this Jewish Star necklace. Did you give this to me?’

‘Yes, the night of the accident. I told you its story, about my mother giving it to me for my space missions. It’s to remind you of the folks back home that love you.’

‘Thank you; you must have been a great friend. I wish I could remember those days.’

Howard took Penny’s offered hand and she smiled like he hadn’t seen her do in years, carefree. He was blushing to his toes ashamed for every leering comment he’d ever made to her. He swore he’d never make another one just to see her smile like this for the rest of her life.

‘The doctor says we don’t have a lot of time, she wants me to rest. I wanted to thank you for getting that guy out of here.’ Penny was still shaken up by the idea she was supposed to be married to him.

‘No problem, did they tell you about Leonard?’ Howard sounded curious about that.

‘Only that they said I was married to him but I can’t remember ever seeing him. When he wouldn’t stop touching me, it got pretty scary since I was tied down.’ Penny shuddered at the memory and started feeling a little like the doctor was right to have only a short visit. She was feeling a little light headed.

‘Glad I was there to help; I wish I’d stayed around your place that night.’ Howard sounded guilty about something and Penny hoped it wasn’t about the accident.

‘What were you there for? You gave me this necklace and they said you came in the ambulance, too?’ It all sounded a little strange.

‘We had talked about Leonard earlier and the necklace was to help cheer you up, and help you a little talking to him. I was driving over to pick you up after you told Leonard you wanted a divorce.’

‘A divorce?’ Penny didn’t get to go further when the nurse came in to say her time with Howard was up.

‘Yeah, I’ll come by tomorrow with some things that should explain. My wife Bernie can help with that, she’s an old friend of yours.’ Howard gave Penny’s hand a final squeeze. ‘Leonard can be kind of pushy; don’t let him push you into anything until you get to see your diaries. I’m pretty sure Bernie knows where you keep them.’ Howard promised to be back as soon as he could and he left.

The nurse asked if she was up to meeting Sheldon and Penny felt she was, although she did wonder if there were any more bombs to be dropped here.

The tall Texan sounding guy came in. ‘Hello, Penny, how are you?’

‘Better than yesterday, I guess, not that I remember it. You’re Sheldon, aren’t you?’ His superhero T-shirt combined with his stiffness and thin build made him seem like an awkward teenager.

‘Yes, that’s correct. Is that from memory or from recent information?’ Sheldon came closer to the right side of the bed but kept studiously from making any gesture of trying to touch her. Penny wasn’t sure if that was from some natural shyness given his stiffness of manner or from regard for the earlier panic with Leonard.

‘It’s all from the doctor’s info. I wanted to thank you and Howard for getting that Leonard guy out of here. Do we know each other, too?’ Penny was hoping she would find another friend even if she couldn’t remember them.

‘Yes, we have been neighbors for almost twelve years. You have been a source of great confusion, chaos, and comfort in my life.’

Penny laughed at the guileless way Sheldon described her. ‘You’re very honest, aren’t you Sheldon?’

‘Thank you, Penny; I have always tried to be so.’ Sheldon shuffled about uneasily. ‘I regret I was unavailable to help you that night. I received your voicemail but Amy Farah-Fowler was very insistent that I attend to her.’

‘What voicemail was that?’ Penny was curious because it sounded serious the way Sheldon was acting.

‘You called for help. You wanted to talk about divorcing Leonard and about going to an abortion clinic. I do recommend the divorce but I believe the accident would have made the abortion a moot issue.’

‘Pregnancy, I was pregnant and I called you for help with that?’ Penny was surprised at how close she must have been with Sheldon if she had talked to him and not family. Not that her family would have been the greatest support.

‘Yes, over the years, we have often sought out each other’s aid when we were sick or injured. We have been very much like family for each other. It is why I have regretted listening to Amy the night of the accident.’ Sheldon looked guilty, like he was confessing some crime.

Penny reached out for Sheldon’s hand. ‘You’re here now, that’s what’s important to me, Sheldon.’

‘Would you like me to sing ‘Soft Kitty’ to you? It is a song only my mother or you sing to me when I am sick. I sometimes sing it for you when you are sick.’

‘Sure, Sheldon, I’m feeling tired. It might help me sleep.’ Penny closed her eyes not sure when she would have looked forward to a lullaby from a stranger.

‘Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, Purr, purr, purr’

Sheldon finished the song and Penny’s faced looked more relaxed than when he came in. ‘Our allotted time is almost finished, Penny. Would you like me to come back, tomorrow?’

‘Yes, I’d like that a lot.’ Penny opened her eyes to look at Sheldon before he left. It was good to have friends here. ‘Thank you, Sheldon.’

‘Then, I will join Howard when he comes here, tomorrow. Good night, Penny.’

‘Good night, Sheldon.’ Penny gave Sheldon’s hand a parting squeeze before she let him go. She closed her eyes and realized she didn’t have a headache any more. ‘Wow, that Soft Kitty thing really works.’ She fell asleep replaying the simple tune in her mind.


	9. Alpha-Sheldon to Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introductions out of the way, a little fun for our crew. Remember, Penny here has a dozen years of playing against Sheldon and seeing his strategies and some insight into how to rattle him. A few more games would turn the tide. It's always bothered me that Penny is said to be quite intelligent but the show plays her for comedy and makes her out an idiot far too much for the cheap laughs.

Alpha-Sheldon  
‘I doubt there will be any trouble though. He really is quite bright. So were you, but I wouldn’t see that back then.’

Beta  
‘I was great with machines as a kid. I rebuilt my dad’s tractor when I was twelve. He was pretty impressed but that kind of thing drove my mom crazy. She thought I’d never act like a girl.’

Sheldon nodded in understanding he knew what it was to be an outlier growing up. He was fascinated by Penny’s stories of growing up in Nebraska. Though not having his extraordinary academic background, she had excelled nearly as much as a child in other ways. She had remarkable mechanical skills and far outstripped him in physical sports and outdoor skills. His father would have adored her for his wild-outdoors camping and hunting trips not to mention the rodeo championships. He could also see that she seemed to excel at chess and was within five moves of checkmate depending on what Leonard did next.

‘You don’t look so un-girly, now, Penny.’ Leonard was happy to get some of Penny’s attention by asking if she knew how to play chess. 

Penny shuddered at that and forced a small smile and look of pleading to Sheldon. He shrugged and smiled in sympathy. Even he could catch the pathetic flirting Leonard was trying on their new neighbor.

‘Oh, sorry, I’m going to have to take your knight, Penny.’ Leonard tried to make it sound apologetic but Penny could catch the note of ‘I’m beating the girl’ in his voice. 

Sheldon could see Leonard had walked right into Penny’s endgame and he didn’t even know it. Three forced moves later and Leonard finally saw the inevitable checkmate coming. He just stared at the board. He hadn’t seen that combination developing. What he had thought were some careless random moves had been a lure into a deathtrap for his king and he had fallen for it.

‘Who are you, the second coming of Bobby Fischer?’

‘Really, Leonard, traditional chess is quite elementary. It’s not unlike a tractor engine- a fixed number of parts that best go in a certain order and movement.’ Sheldon admonished Leonard with his condescending teacher voice but he was admiring Penny’s nonchalance of juggling four of the captive pieces.

‘You make it sound so easy, Sheldon, why don’t you take on the winner?’ Leonard threw the gauntlet down. He thought he couldn’t lose either way. If Penny won, it would shut Sheldon up. Unlikely, since no one beat Sheldon at chess. Or Sheldon won, and he got some of his own back.

‘I suppose it would only be polite.’ Sheldon waited for Penny to stop juggling and turn the pieces over for set up.

‘Oh, that sounds like you think this is too easy for you, Sheldon. Think the girl is no challenge?’ Penny asked while still juggling.

‘Not at all, you clearly have skill against a bush league player,’ Leonard rolled his eyes and looked for Penny’s response to that but she just kept on juggling, ‘but the game is simplistic.’

‘Got something better?’

‘Yes, have you ever played 3-d chess?’

‘Penny stopped juggling and looked at Sheldon in wonderment. ‘Oh wow, you’ve got that chess game from Star Wars?’

Sheldon’s eye twitched. ‘Star Trek’ I’ll get the game.’

Leonard chuckled a bit. Sheldon would be in full game mode. An hour later Penny was juggling again and both Sheldon and Leonard were staring at the board perplexed. ‘How about best of three, Sheldon?’

‘Of course. Pieces, please.’ Sheldon’s twitch was back. Penny smiled and realized she could get some alone time with him out of this and she’d be able to start figuring out how she ended up in the Twilight Zone.

‘Tell you what; let’s make a bet of this. You said you don’t drive, Sheldon. If you win, I’ll drive you around for the next month, if I win you’ve got to help me with moving in and setting up my apartment over the next month?’

‘Agreed.’ Sheldon got his Joker smile on. Penny had the brightest sunshine smile to match him like she had already won. Leonard looked back and forth between them and started feeling like the superhero had finally caught up with the supervillain and he wasn’t sure which was which.

Another hour later, after explaining a number of sci-fi errors on Penny’s part, Sheldon was explaining how Moya wasn’t the ship in Firefly and how Picard was a better captain than Kirk, ‘Let us even this up with check!’ Sheldon placed his queen on the queen’s level three with a demonstrative flourish.

Penny pursed her lips and examined the board. ‘Well, I’m an actress Sheldon. I don’t know much about the ships and doodads on the shows but I do know actors, you only had to say who starred in the shows. Of course, I wouldn’t mix up two hotties like Browder and Fillion.’ She picked up her queen and smiled. ‘Kirk though, he’s from Iowa, that’s almost Nebraska, check.’ She took Sheldon’s queen and smiled. Sheldon looked a bit green, he only had one move.

‘There are three simple reasons Kirk is better.’ She moved a bishop from the bottom level back into play, ‘he didn’t surrender in the first episode, ‘check.’’ Sheldon again only had one move and he saw what was coming now, he made his only move hoping she didn’t really see the final combination.

Penny brought a long unmoved knight up into action, ‘two, he beat the Kobayashi Maru game, check.’ Sheldon was flummoxed, this wasn’t a fluke, and he made his last move.

‘Three, Spock could never beat him at chess,’ she moved her queen to king’s level 1, ‘checkmate, I have so many things to move and get ready in my apartment I can’t even remember what they all are now. Welcome aboard, crewman Cooper.’

Sheldon couldn’t be bothered to think of the game anymore he just looked at Penny in astonishment. He’d never met such a combination of chaos and logic in one package, not unlike Captain Kirk.

Leonard looked stunned and awestruck at Penny. No one beat Sheldon at 3-d chess but she’d done it twice in a row. He daydreamed about the perfect babies they could have.

Before anyone could comment further on the game and its result, Howard and Raj walked into the apartment. They had exciting news to share with Leonard and Sheldon.

‘Wait till you see this.’ Howard was bursting to share his discovery.

‘It’s fantastic, unbelievable.’ Raj was just as excited.

They both stopped short when they saw the beautiful girl sitting in the easy chair by the sofa. Raj froze up from being in her presence. Howard went into smarmy mode and waltzed up to her. Enchante Madamoiselle. Howard Wolowitz, Cal-Tech department of Applied Physics. You may be familiar with some of my work, it’s currently orbiting Jupiter’s largest moon taking high-resolution digital photographs.

Penny had forgotten what Howard had changed from. Yesterday, he was a lifeline, now he was his old sleazy self. It was like she was seeing two different men in her head. She did not like this one at all. He seemed an affront to the man he became. It also reminded her of what she had lost of herself in the same time. ‘Sheldon, I need your bathroom, could you show me the way, please?’

Sheldon was sure Penny didn’t want to be crowded by Howard so he jumped up right away. ‘Certainly, Penny, right this way.’ He was happy to escort her out of the drool room. He wondered why he felt so relieved to do so. ‘Here it is. There are fresh towels in here,’ he indicated a small cabinet, ‘and, soap and hand cleansers over here by the sink. Please, take your time.’

‘Thank you, Sheldon. Maybe, we could head over to my apartment and get unpacking when I get out, if you don’t mind? I’m sure your friends are nice, but I still have a lot to do.’ She wasn’t sure if that was true or not after all these years but Penny knew she wanted to get out of here. Too many emotions were crowding in on her right now.

‘Of course, whenever you are ready, just say the word.’ Sheldon was happy to help and he wouldn’t mind spending some time alone talking with Penny which was an unexpected feeling he had just become aware of.

‘Thanks’ Penny was happy to be getting out of 4A. This wasn’t her hangout anymore; she didn’t belong here anymore.


	10. Alpha-Sheldon to Gamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One Penny has the advantage of knowledge another has the advantage of more self-confidence still unshaken.

Alpha-Sheldon  
‘We got your name back, a least. I couldn’t stand seeing you go with a name you didn’t want. Howard, too, he’s changed a lot because of this.’

Gamma  
Howard knocked again and was rewarded by Penny answering. She looked kind of wasted which was how she looked a lot these days. At least it was from the pain medication instead of the wine.

‘Hey, Penny, how are you doing?’

She looked at him for a long time obviously trying to place him. ‘Hi, Howard, how are you?’

Howard nodded and smiled. ‘Good. Feel up for some company, Penny?’

‘Sure, I’m pretty pain free for the moment but I may not be the best company. This stuff makes you drift off pretty easily.’

‘That’s fine, Bernie and I are just happy you’re getting better. I hear Leonard’s been around a lot, pushing his rights as your husband.’

‘Yeah, I don’t want to get into that. Sheldon was here earlier saying the divorce stuff had been filed by my family when I was almost dead. Leonard wants to stop that. I get I’m supposed to be married to him but I don’t remember the guy at all. I can’t imagine ever wanting to marry him. He’s pushy in every bad way I ever knew back home.’

‘Yeah, well, that’s what I came by about, that pushing. Remember, I mentioned your diaries last time? I talked to Bernie and she agrees you should have these. You told Bernie, once, where you kept your diaries. I brought them, maybe they will help. There’s something else and she didn’t want me to share this yet because of the accident but I promised you to get you out of there, away from Leonard, before the accident. I got this temporary cell phone and put a file on it. It pretty much says why you wanted to divorce Leonard.’

Penny took the phone and the diaries.

She settled herself for a reading of a life that simply didn’t feel like hers. The doctors had put her through a host of tests. They couldn’t find anything wrong with her physiologically. The head trauma was largely healed and the doctors felt confident she could leave within the next week. The memory loss baffled them as much as Penny not just for the lost memories but also the clarity she could recall everything from 2006 and earlier. She could tell them the TV schedule for the night of Dec 12, 2006 but she couldn’t remember a thing of the next twelve years. She opened the diaries and recognized her handwriting. If she were asked she’d have to say she wrote these diaries but she couldn’t remember having ever seen them much less written them.

Penny started at their beginning, about a few weeks after she’d moved to Los Robles. She read them with a growing disbelief as the months rolled on into years. It was sobering stuff. She had come to California to change her life. She had dreams of becoming an actress but she had drifted further and further from her goal. In the pages, she had twisted herself up trying to please a guy the words said was smarter than her, better. She was aghast by the end.

This Page-Penny was a slap in the face, one she almost felt she needed when she reflected on Kurt and the few acting jobs she had gotten. She knew how little theater education she had as an actor but why hadn’t she done something about that and work to get it? The time Page-Penny had tried school again Leonard had undermined it. Why would she ever have let herself be tormented into serving Leonard’s neediness the way these pages said she had? The way that relationship had started, drunk and falling into bed with him and she had stayed with him in spite of the shit he had done to her and to that poor Sheldon guy in the arctic. How could she sleep with someone that had screwed over one of her own friends like that? Page-Penny had thrown away a dozen years of her life because she couldn’t tell the jerk she deserved better.

Penny fondled the Star of David necklace while she read the final pages. She thought of Howard saying how he promised her, or Page-Penny, whatever, that he’d help get her out of there. She read the last entry which must have been written pretty drunk by the messiness of the handwriting. It told about Howard’s last visit and Leonard thinking about divorce because he’d gotten some woman pregnant and how that woman was determined to have his kid. She looked at the phone and wondered what could be there.

Penny opened the file; it was a recorded conversation of the night of the accident. It was her breakup argument which she had recorded and sent to Howard and Sheldon when she left. Her break up with Kurt had been positively delightful for them both by comparison. When Leonard sarcastically asked if she was going to go rodeo on him over the other woman she heard something smash. Leonard started yelling about the TV and a wine bottle. Penny had said the next one would be aimed at him and then she’d left the apartment going by the sound of a door slamming and stomping of feet in a stairwell before the file ended. Penny guessed the accident must have happened shortly after that.

Penny closed the file and turned off the phone. She put it and the diaries in the drawer of the table by her bed and settled back down. She tried to imagine how Page-Penny would feel if she were lying here. It was still hard for Penny to imagine that had ever been her life but the mirror by her bed showed the years on her face. Years she had no recollection of. She imagined that Penny’s anger but also the guilt she would have felt towards her family for what she had been turning into. That Penny had even felt guilt towards Leonard which really mystified Penny. 

The diaries kept coming back to what a dead end her life had become. Penny saw it otherwise. Page-Penny had let her life be sucked into the small world of 4A and fitting into their expectations of her, especially Leonard's. That had become a pattern to her life, one she saw in herself much more clearly now that she was reading her future or past or other life. She kept giving stuff up when men weren’t interested. She left off mechanical interests and rodeo when her dad lost interest in her. She left off school when boys wouldn’t show interest in her having a brain in her head. The diaries showed her where that performing to men was going to end and she didn’t like it. Penny didn’t remember the life that woman in the diaries had lived but she damn well knew they both deserved better. It was time to be a little more selfish and dole out a no or two from now on.


	11. Alpha-Sheldon to Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Penny's know about the past and one of them is a little more on the edge than the other.

Alpha-Sheldon  
‘I guess I have changed, too. I never liked the unexpected but you were never what anyone expected. I have missed that, Penny.’

Beta  
Penny splashed some cold water on her face letting it refresh her. The day was getting crazier by the minute. Howard and Raj came into the apartment just like they had all those years ago. Howard was every bit as creepy as she remembered him being in the past. She didn’t like this Howard. He wasn’t the one who she knew, not now, not yet. Raj’s mutism was barely any less weird but that was the least of what was bothering her.

Leonard’s crush was suffocating and she couldn’t humor it anymore. She’d run into too much crap by using crushes to get what she wanted. She was no saint there but it had to end. It really had never done her as much good as her own hard work had. She took a few breaths and headed back out to face the four guys once again. She caught the tail end of their conversation which was about her. Its main point incensed her.

‘I saw her first; I call dibs’ from Leonard.

‘Yeah, bros before hos.’ From Howard.

‘Dibs?’ The word welled out of her chest snarled and guttural. Penny saw last night all over again. She felt the last decade of her life cascading through her mind. All of it had started here like she was some kind of trinket on a shelf to be bartered and sold and claimed and tossed away. The memories howled through her mind, the humiliation, the rage, the void in her Nebraska heart that was filled with alcohol and self-loathing.

‘Woah, angry babe alert.’

‘Shut it, Wolowitz!’ Penny growled but barely spared him a glance. She was focused on her pain, the short, shapeless, food challenged, asthmatic pain in her life. She strode up to him her greater height making Leonard cringe when he looked up into her anger clouded face. ‘Dibs? You Neanderthal, myopic homunculus! I am not some comic book you can call dibs on.’ Penny hissed.

‘Heh, Penny, it was just guy talk, I mean, come on, I know you’re not a comic book, don’t be stupid.’

Stupid, the word snapped something in her mind and her head jerked like she had been slapped. Penny’s vision clouded and the blood in her head pounded but all emotion seemed to vacate her face. Her right hand flashed up and wrapped around Leonard’s neck her thumb buried into his trachea. The New Jersey professor had no idea he was choking to death until it was too late to do anything. He just saw cold green eyes staring at him and all he could do was feebly slap at Penny’s hand.

‘Penny! Penny! You’re hurting him, please?’ Sheldon stepped up to Penny and reached out to her hand. He tentatively brushed her skin; his dislike of contact and his aversion to conflict overcome by the need to do something.

The contact of Sheldon’s hand on her skin brought Penny back from the demonic state she had slipped into. She let Leonard go and stood frozen in place hit by the weight of what she had been doing. Leonard stumbled back against the kitchen counter and gasped raggedly. ‘What the hell! Are-‘ Leonard’s tirade was cut off by Sheldon’s desperate shaking of his head and glance at Penny. Leonard nodded in understanding. Their neighbor was like a bomb on a dead-man switch right now and Sheldon was all that was holding down the button.

Sheldon stood by Penny gently stroking her hand trying to calm her down. Penny seemed to shut down with Sheldon’s touch. Her eyes snapped shut and her head shook slightly while she fought down the unhinged thoughts roaring in her head. Last night, last life, warred with today. ‘Not him… not him…’ she whispered and tamped down the fire in her mind. This Leonard hadn’t cheated on her. He hadn’t hollowed her out and driven her to medicate herself with alcohol and submit to graceless rutting. He hadn’t broken her into settling for him. In this here, in this now, she hadn’t let herself be swayed by him into abandoning her dreams yet. He would never get the chance.

Penny clenched her hand and Sheldon stepped back a pace. She looked up at Leonard. Her eyes were still cold and emotionless. Her voice was tense and precise. ‘I apologize, that was… excessive. However, I am not some 'thing' to call dibs on. You have no say in my life. You have no say in what I do or who I date. You are not entitled to me. You are not part of my life, not now, not ever.’

Howard and Raj sat dumbstruck at the scene in front of them. The smoking sexy blonde girl had turned into a Terminator and they had no idea what to do.

‘Ahgh… no problem… just a misunderstanding.’ Leonard wheezed aloud and scrabbled for his inhaler while he scurried to the couch and away from the volatile girl.

Howard looked astounded at Leonard. ‘Misunderstanding? That was full on-‘

‘Something to add, Wolowitz?’ Penny cut him off sharply. She never did have real boundaries with these guys. It was clear to her now that had been a mistake. Howard sat back and held up his hands in surrender. He didn’t want to risk setting her off again. ‘Well, I’ll add something more. If any of you try your Bro Code crap out on me, I’ll hogtie you and castrate you. I am not a ho. Do not ever think of treating me like one.’

The room fell into a painful silence. The three men on the couch cringed into themselves under Penny’s withering glare. Sheldon wanted to escape to his bedroom but he was sure it was better to get her out of the apartment before something, most likely Wolowitz’s perpetual sex-pervert commentary, could trigger Penny again. Besides, he had made a promise to help Penny set up her apartment. He decided it was best lead with that.

‘Penny, I was thinking of the time and wondering if you had groceries and household articles? Considering how long it may take to unpack, the stores could be closed before we finish. I suggest we inventory what you need and go to the market before unpacking.’

Penny looked away from the three couch amigos and thought what a relief it would be to get out of here. ‘That’s a great idea, Sheldon. Come on.’ She spared one more look at Leonard; she was sure even this scare might not completely put him off. She decided to nip his begging proclivities in the bud before she left. She paused by the front door and turned to Sheldon. ‘Sheldon, you respect boundaries, don’t you?’

‘Of course, they are essential to a civilized society.’

‘Good, everyone here should know about my boundaries. My apartment, my person, and my life are off limits to you guys.’ Penny knew that needed to be put into words they understood. Sheldon’s chess set gave her a clear idea of one way to say it. ‘In Geek Speak, my apartment and I are like Talos IV.’ She was gratified by the wide eyed nods of acknowledgement. She had never been more grateful to Sheldon and his pushing Star Trek on her so often in the past. ‘Except for you, Sheldon, you are always welcome.’

‘Thank you, Penny. While we are on the subject of boundaries, the bi-monthly apartment/friendship review meeting is scheduled for next weekend. I would like to invite you to come. It would be an ideal time to establish suitable protocols for interaction between our apartments. That way in the future, we can avoid unfortunate incidents like today.’ Sheldon hoped Penny would come. He was glad to be included in her welcome list but he hoped she might want to come here, too, where they might play chess again or maybe Halo. He didn’t think she would be desirous of coming over under current circumstances. He was sure Leonard would be understandably against her return altogether, right now.

Penny chuckled softly. The roommate meetings seemed a lifetime ago. What once was an anal nuisance of Sheldon’s, for the moment, sounded like refreshing normality. ‘That sounds great. Thank you, Sheldon.’ Penny opened the door and Sheldon picked up his jacket and joined her. She thought a treat would be good after all this. ‘How do you feel about iced tea and snicker doodles; they’d make a nice snack while we work, yeah?’

‘I love them, Penny. That is an excellent suggestion. In fact, I could make you my Meemaw’s snicker doodles. She’s my grandmother in Texas and a magical baker of cookies and cakes...’

The door closed after them. Leonard, Howard, and Raj looked at each other like they had barely survived a matter/anti-matter explosion.

‘So, whose idea was it to live role play ‘The Sarah Conner Chronicles’ and invite Cameron over?’ was Howard’s opening to discuss the aftermath.

‘Maybe, Sheldon finally had that lab accident and she’s some killer fembot he created? Did you see the way she shut down when he touched her?’ Raj had really only seen Penny for the few minutes of that madness. She was scary.

‘I don’t know what she is, but she isn’t normal.’ Leonard had thought they were perfect for each other when he had first seen her but he’d rather move back in with his mother than date someone like that. ‘She had the same crazy list about Sheldon’s spot, she could beat him at chess, and she is an actress. You all remember how crazy theater majors were in school, don’t you?’ Howard and Raj nodded in agreement, there. ‘Sheldon is welcome to her.’


	12. Alpha-Sheldon to Gamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing one Penny home.

Alpha-Sheldon  
‘I like to think I’ve learned a few things since you passed away that I hope you’d be proud of.

Gamma  
Penny was glad she was finally getting out of the hospital. She signed off the paperwork and was surprised to see Sheldon was the primary medical contact while she was incapacitated. It made her ask again what she and Sheldon were to each other, now. The diaries made them seem very unlikely friends from the amount of irritation they gave each other but they always came back together one way or another. She put that aside for the immediate problem of where she would be living. She would still be coming back here for physical therapy and monitoring her recovery for a couple of weeks, but she was otherwise free to go but she had to ask herself where to go. She knew her home was in 4A Los Robles but she couldn’t bring herself to go there if Leonard was still living there. 

The divorce papers were finalized but he was still trying to talk her into putting things back together between them. She was dumbfounded by that. He had cheated on her and had a kid on the way by another woman and, yet he still thought he could patch things up. Penny wasn’t one to call people stupid but that took a special kind of blind selfishness to think the way Leonard did. She couldn’t possibly stay in the same apartment with him without something bad happening.

Penny couldn’t shake feeling that she did have her own place. She had just moved into 2311 North Los Robles Avenue, 4B before she ended up in this hospital as far as she remembered but Sheldon was living there instead of her. She grew pensive when she saw him coming towards the main desk at the hospital entrance. ‘Hey, Sheldon, are you here to take me home?’

‘Yes, Howard is waiting outside with his car. We also have a wheelchair superior to this model.’ Sheldon knew the heavy duty hospital style would be too inconvenient for their building.

‘That’s great, the elevator should be a big help, too.’ Penny remembered it wasn’t working when she moved in but after so long it had to have been fixed.

‘I’m sorry, Penny, the elevator remains unrepaired.’

‘You’re kidding? After twelve years, that thing still isn’t fixed?’ Penny couldn’t believe it. The owner had said the broken elevator was just temporary.

‘That is correct; we still have to use the stairs. That is one of the advantages of the wheelchair we got for you, it can climb stairs, although a certain amount of walking would be beneficial to your recovery plan if done with care and moderation. The wheelchair should facilitate that considerably.’ Sheldon explained some of the features of the wheelchair while he brought her to Howard’s car.

Penny was thankful her arms and legs hadn’t been broken in the accident. It was one of the miracles of her survival that night but prolonged disuse had weakened her limbs some so the wheelchair was recommended to prevent overtaxing her recovering body.

‘Hey, Howard!’ Penny was glad to see her new/old friend.

‘Bonjour, enchante, mademoiselle.’ Howard gave a bow and opened the back door so Penny could stretch out more comfortably for the ride home.

‘What’s this? Getting fresh with single girls, now, Howard?’ Penny laughed and gave Howard a hug before she got into the car.

‘You got me, I’ll take my mother to her favorite spa for the day as penance.’ Howard was glad to see Penny’s old humor coming back.

They drove the first few minutes in a comfortable silence but Penny felt she had to talk about where she was headed for home. ‘I guess I am still in 4A, is Leonard still there?' Penny figured it was best to get to the heart of the matter right off the bat.

‘Yeah, Leonard is still there. He says he hasn’t decided how to handle moving, yet. He thinks he should stay in 4A because he has a new family coming.’ Howard was surprised at Leonard’s chutzpah.

‘You’re kidding? He keeps telling me he wants to work things out between us, like that’s ever gonna happen, but me move because he has a family coming? He cheated on me, knocked her up, he isn’t even married to her and hasn’t made up his mind about that, but he wants me to move? What planet is this guy from?’ Penny had read enough from the diaries to think Leonard was probably playing both her and the other woman, Vicky, for sympathy and to get what he wanted. She was probably the evil drunken shrew-wife to her, while he tried playing on her amnesia to put doubt in her head about the divorce. What Leonard really needed was a proper Nebraska ass kicking.

Sheldon asked Howard to slow down and turned to Penny. ‘Does this place bring back any memories, Penny?’

She looked around the neighborhood. She remembered this was the street she had moved to but nothing more. ‘Nope, as far as I remember, I just got here. This is the street we live on, Sheldon, but that’s it.’

‘This is where the accident happened, outside that convenience store just ahead.’ Sheldon pointed out a 7-11 coming up but there was no more memory of the accident than of anything else since the day she moved here.

‘Weird, if I wasn’t still banged up, I’d never believe I’d been in an accident.’ She thought of the diaries and how hurt and directionless Page-Penny was. Looking at where she nearly died, Penny was busier thinking of what to do next. "Maybe I didn’t have a direction before the accident, but I damn well will now."

Howard parked in front of the apartment building. Howard got the wheelchair out of the trunk while Sheldon helped Penny out of the back seat. She wanted to walk a bit before starting on the chair so she and Sheldon walked towards the building’s lobby. Sheldon explained more of the features of the chair while Howard drove the car down to the parking garage. While Sheldon and Penny were trying out some of the chair’s features and adjusting parts to Penny’s comfort Raj arrived in the lobby just as Howard was coming up from the garage.

Raj was carrying a bouquet of multi colored daisies and chocolates. He whispered to Howard who translated for his anxious friend. ‘Raj says these are to welcome you back and he hopes you won’t need the wheelchair for long.’

Penny took the flowers and chocolates with a grateful smile and hugged Raj for the lovely gift. It was still strange how he couldn’t talk, but Penny would much rather a friend who couldn’t talk than a cheating partner who talked too much. ‘Thanks, Raj, this is so sweet.’ She gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. Raj managed a whispered and sincere you’re welcome.

They all looked over the chair again and decided to give it a go on the stairs. Penny took her seat and gave the chair a start. It did its job great if slower than walking. However, it was a great boon with four flights of stairs when Penney considered her still unsteady legs. On the way up Sheldon broached the living arrangement question.

‘Penny, are you uneasy with the possibility of sharing space with Leonard? 4A does have two bedrooms but would that be comfortable enough?’

‘I was going to ask about that, Sheldon, I don’t really want to be in the same apartment with Leonard.’ Penny just couldn’t feel like she was even married at all and after reading the diaries and the little contact she’d had with Leonard she wanted nothing to do with living in the same apartment with him for even one night.

‘Then, you should take up residence in 4B while things are settled over 4A. 4B should have some familiarity for you since you do remember moving in there and I would not be troubled to return to my former apartment and bedroom.’ 

Penny was pretty sure of the sincerity of the offer since the diaries had quite a few references to Sheldon’s no strings generosity towards her. ‘I couldn’t do that to you out of the blue, Sheldon. You don’t want change like that, do you? The diaries said you don’t and I’d hate to stress you like that. I’d be happy with the couch if that thing’s still there.’

‘It is no trouble, Penny. I would welcome returning to my old room and my presence will likely be less satisfactory to Leonard’s idea to stay on than your own presence would. Also, when we made this apartment exchange, I retained the option to return should your marriage not work out. As usual, Leonard paid no attention to the clauses in the rental agreement. I am subletting 4B from you, my primary residence is still listed as 4A.’ Sheldon did his odd gasping laugh which still caught Penny off guard but the humor wasn’t lost on her.

‘You really are some kind of beautiful mind genius, aren’t you, Sheldon?’

‘Yes, I am. I have a tested IQ of 187.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon. The ending is out there and hopefully the story will make one or two folks happy. Thanks for reading this far.


	13. Alpha-Sheldon to Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our other Penny has an apartment to set up and a hard past to start getting over.

Alpha-Sheldon

‘It wasn’t easy getting out of my routines. I believe we were both stuck in some bad patterns. I was too caught up in mine to notice yours or when I did it wasn’t often helpful. I never asked myself why I paid so much attention to your affairs. I should have and I should have been kinder. We weren’t really so different in our relationships.’

Beta

Penny and Sheldon rode in companionable silence. That couldn’t last.

‘Penny, your check engine light is on.’

‘Yes, Sheldon, I know it is.’

Sheldon looked back at the road then back at Penny. ‘Aren’t you going to stop at a garage to get the engine serviced?’

‘No, sweetie, I am going to the grocery store. It’s too late to get the car serviced. If I did that, we wouldn’t be able to go for the groceries. Even if I could, I don’t have the money. Besides, the engine isn’t ready to throw a rod yet.’ 

She remembered what was wrong. It was worth it to get the car fixed but she really didn’t have the money. Not if she wanted to eat. There couldn’t be any raiding 4A after today's smack down. That casual food raiding was what had let Leonard get the idea they could be a thing. He thought she owed him sex. God, how had she not seen through that high school level bullshit? She didn’t see it because, he wasn’t some meathead. He had put it in fancier terms and she had fallen for it. Penny ground her teeth and clenched the steering wheel.

Sheldon wasn’t good at reading people’s faces but he wasn’t blind to bad driving practices even if he tended to overreact. He noted how Penny was gripping the wheel. Her fingers were clenching convulsively. He guessed Penny was upset about the light. ‘Do you need some money to get the car serviced? I can lend you the funds.’

‘What? That’s… no of course not. You don’t have to do that.’ Penny knew Sheldon’s sincerity with the offer. He didn’t have an ulterior motive except maybe his paranoia about safety.

‘It would be no trouble. Your hands are grasping the wheel in an overly tight fashion which makes optimum operation difficult. I thought my asking about the engine light had upset you.’

‘Oh, honey, I’m not upset about the light or your offer. I had other things on my mind.’

Sheldon considered what those other things might be. He imagined a large amount concerned settling in after this move and getting a job to support her after moving from Nebraska. However, the attack on Leonard was the unspoken issue.

‘Did you kill Leonard?’

Penny’s eyebrows shot up and she glared at Sheldon. ‘What?’

‘Please, eyes on the road, Penny’

‘Yeah, whatever, I didn’t kill Leonard, what are you talking about?’ Penny knew Sheldon’s mind could attack a problem from the wildest directions and come to even wilder conclusions. This didn’t make any sense, though she could understand him wondering if she was some kind of sociopathic killer after trying to strangle Leonard.

‘Perhaps, I was unclear. Were you in a relationship with some other Leonard before moving into our building and did you attack him?’ Penny looked at Sheldon out of the corner of her eye. He seemed to just be curious rather than afraid he’d gotten into a car with a murderer. ‘I ask because there were a number of odd facts, today. First, you talked almost exclusively to me the entire time. While I can understand that since I am a far more scintillating conversationalist than Leonard it is noteworthy since coming to a new apartment and pointedly ignoring half the occupants is considered socially rude, I understand. Second, whenever Leonard tried to get your attention you continually mispronounced his name in spite of his repeated corrections. Leonard does not have an unusually difficult name to pronounce and you don’t seem cognitively or physically impaired and thus unable to pronounce the name one can only assume the mispronunciations were deliberate. Finally, after you stopped strangling Leonard you seemed to be struggling with some memory. You kept whispering, not him. I assume ‘him’ was someone named Leonard and that he might have somehow hurt you and today’s reaction was a result of that past trauma?'

Penny drove on in silence. Sheldon was good. He wasn’t always quick with human behavior but at times he could be astonishingly insightful. She wondered how to answer. She wondered what might have happened if she hadn’t left for Howard’s place last night. Had she snapped because of this crazy day or had she been ready to snap long before? The thought that she might have attacked Leonard last night and even killed him like she’d tried doing today started to overwhelm her. Penny slowed the car and pulled over to the sidewalk and parked. She turned off the engine and leaned forward and rested her forehead on the steering wheel and started to cry from the madness of all this. None of this day made any sense and she was starting to think she was really in some mental hospital and all of this was a crazy delusion.

Sheldon had no idea what was happening now. He was relieved that Penny had the sense to pull over in her distraught state but he now had to figure out what to do with this crying woman. Obviously, this was some kind of post-fight/flight reaction that, most likely, the stress of the apartment events and the subsequent questions had provoked. Deciding words might make things worse he tried stroking Penny’s hair and down her back. Her long blonde hair was surprisingly soft and he could smell the scent of green apples and lavender from her hair. Sheldon hoped singing ‘Soft Kitty’ would help. ‘Soft kitty, warm kitty, Little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, Purr, purr, purr’.

Penny shivered beneath Sheldon’s petting hand. She knew how unnerved Sheldon must be feeling to touch a stranger and sing that song. It sent a lancing pain through her heart how very alone she was in this world of a dozen years past. This place was a lifetime ago. She sat back and with her eyes still closed. She took in a few deep breaths wondering how to start and what to say. The truth would just sound unhinged. Maybe she was. Penny laughed at that thought and her chuckles made Sheldon draw back a bit. That sobered Penny since Sheldon was her only lifeline in this weird new world. He might be able to figure out what happened to her but first she would have to try to become friends again. This really was The Twilight Zone.

Penny sat back and stared out of the windshield at a time long past that had started on a different today and thought of where to begin. “Would it happen now? I’ll bet he knows some show my life is the plot of.” She glanced at Sheldon and smiled briefly. ‘You’re right, there… was a Leonard. He looked and sounded a lot like yours. I didn’t like him at first but he was persistent. He wasn’t like the Nebraska guys. He was… softer, brainier. I started thinking he was nicer than they were. But he wasn’t. I didn’t see that. I thought he was smarter than me and before long I was believing I had to change… like I wasn’t good enough just being me. I gave up being an actress, took up drinking a lot so I didn’t have to feel myself. Didn’t have to feel what I lost or what I became. The last time I saw him we fought. It was bad. I left him and then I died. I was pregnant and alone and running away. I needed my life back.’

Penny paused a bit trying to think of something that didn’t make her sound crazier than she already felt. Her words came raw and forlorn. ‘He hurt me. I couldn’t bear that life or that child. It was everything I left Nebraska to escape. He had me believing I was stupid. Believing my dreams were worthless and he was the best I could hope for. Like he was the one who did me a favor by-’ Penny sniffled raggedly. ‘When he… your Leonard… said he had dibs on me, when he called me stupid all I could see was my Leonard and all the times he hurt me. All the times he pushed me down.’ Penny wept and voiced her pain. ‘I was there again, oh god, Sheldon, I don’t want to remember it anymore but it is there in my mind. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. I wanted him to feel the pain I felt. I don’t want this in my heart and head anymore but it won’t go away.’

Penny felt the silence on her skin. She had no more in her to talk and she didn’t have a clue what Sheldon might say or do. She really didn’t know this Sheldon, not really, not yet. He didn’t know her at all and that dismayed her. She’d never felt this alone before.

Sheldon was caught up in his own thoughts. He was drawn to the contradictions of this very strange woman the way he was drawn to math and science. She was a puzzle that he couldn’t stop thinking about. She was a college dropout from a backwater community college but she could recognize his work and even seemed to enjoy talking about it. She saw the world through astrology and psychics but could beat him at 3 dimensional chess. She smiled like his Meemaw as if nothing else mattered but you but there was an underlying rage that spoke of the great pain she had just told him about. They had commonalities, too. Both Midwesterners, both from families they wanted to escape, and she had a formidable intelligence in spite of her inferior education. Your average 12 year old wasn’t rebuilding engines.

‘When I was seven back in Galveston, I was bullied a lot. Too smart for everyone, too different for everyone, the kids liked to go after different people and I was about as different as you could get. One time I left my lunch on the table at school. I had gone to wash my hands before eating. After I ate my lunch, one of the kids said they put dog poop on my sandwich. I threw up over and over. I couldn’t eat for two days. For a week, I would only eat food I made myself. I’ve never let anyone touch my food since.’ Sheldon looked at Penny briefly then back out at the neighborhood like he was seeing something else. ‘I have an eidetic memory. I can remember everything perfectly. All those awful events, I can see and feel them like it is here right now and they won’t ever go away. That’s why I like to plan so much so those memories don’t come back to the front of my mind.’

They sat silently for a minute. Penny stared out the window till she felt the brushing against her right pinky finger. Sheldon was tentatively brushing it with his left pinky. She smiled gratefully knowing how hard it was for Sheldon to deal with emotions. He started to draw his hand back when she looked down at their hands but Penny held on to him. They sat parked and holding hands in silence sharing their fight against the unescapable past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon. The ending is out there and hopefully the story will make one or two folks happy. Thanks for reading this far.


	14. Alpha-Sheldon to Gamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our young Penny and the gang go to a rodeo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many Worlds theory and Sliding Doors are an influence and Big Bang Theory owns the toys I'm playing with.

Alpha-Sheldon

‘Things have been better in that regard since your funeral. I learned to say what I wanted when it was important instead of when it was convenient for me. It made things better between Amy and me. We had intellect in common but little else nothing that was important for a relationship.’

Gamma

The chair was approaching the 4th floor landing, at last. ‘I won’t dispute the genius, then, and since my name is still on 4B, I’ll take you up on your offer, Sheldon.’ They got to the 4th floor and Penny was relieved she had a place of her own again. ‘Let’s put my stuff in 4B, then, and the chair. If we’re going to talk to Leonard, I want to do it on my feet.’

They went briefly into 4B. She remembered being here so it felt odd not to see any of her stuff. She looked around a bit and saw the picture of her and Sheldon at Disneyland. Penny picked up the framed picture by the couch and looked closer at it. They looked like they were having fun. She couldn’t remember ever going there but the photo made her wish to. ‘Sheldon, this picture, did we have a good time at Disneyland?’

‘Yes, it was wonderful, except for Space Mountain. I threw up there. Do you remember the trip at all?’ Sheldon was hopeful something might be coming back.

‘No, sweetie, not a bit, but maybe we can go back again?’ Penny put the picture back down on the table wondering how much else that was good in those years was lost. She had a lot of rebuilding to do.

‘I would like that very much.’ Sheldon was grateful he would have the chance to do so after the last several weeks of seeing Penny on the brink of death.

‘We need to deal with Leonard, first. Let’s get that over with.’ Penny wasn’t one for waiting and this marriage fallout was something she didn’t want to waste another minute on. Leonard thought he was dealing with a girl he knew and knew how to deal with to his advantage. It was time to show him how very wrong he was.

Penny and the guys went across the hall. Howard started to knock but Penny just breezed in past him without pausing. Leonard was making coffee in the kitchen. ‘Jeeze, haven’t you heard of knocking?’

‘Why would I knock when I’m supposed to be living here?’ Penny didn’t like the challenge in that question.

‘Living here? We are divorced, remember, or did that disappear with everything else you don’t want to remember?’ Leonard wasn’t happy to have everyone here for this argument. ‘Can’t we have some privacy for this?’

‘Don’t want to remember, like I chose this? And, you are getting all the privacy you deserve. These guys didn’t cheat on me and they are quite welcome in my home.’ Right off the bat, trying to use my amnesia to put doubt in me, so not happening.

‘Our home, we were married, Penny.’ Leonard smirked at that.

‘Actually, it is our home, Leonard.’ Sheldon interrupted Leonard’s triumph. If you read the roommate agreement, I never gave up my place on the lease, I was just subletting 4B from Penny until something, most likely caused by you, should end her marriage. In that event, Penny and I would return to our previous living arrangements. You really need to learn to read things before you sign them.’ Sheldon handed Leonard a copy of the rental agreement. He turned somewhat green at the facts in print in his hand.

‘You don’t mind if I hang out here a bit, do you sweetie?’ Penny asked Sheldon to drive the point home a bit further.

‘Not at all, Penny, take your time. Howard, you should order some pizzas, we may be here a bit. Make sure they have extra cheese. Raj, let’s make sure 'my' bedroom is cleaned out and ready for habitation, tonight.’ Sheldon started off for his old bedroom to Leonard’s sputtering.

‘Good idea, Sheldon.’ Howard paused in dialing to listen to Raj saying something to him. ‘Really? Hey, Leonard, Raj said Priya took care of the divorce settlement you signed. She was very thorough and it did say Penny gets the apartment while living arrangements are settled out after the divorce, so it’s really Penny and Sheldon’s place and you should probably look over the parts about alimony, again, if you missed the obvious apartment stuff. She said you should call her if there was anything you didn’t understand. She would be very happy to explain it to you.’

‘Alimony? Why do I have to pay alimony?’ Leonard’s sureness of his position was starting to slip.

‘Welcome to the 21st century, Leonard. You can’t just kick out your wife because she’s inconvenient to your cheating. You have to pay support and those patents and things from the university will do that nicely.’ Penny didn’t think Leonard would have signed the kind of papers she read but she figured at best Leonard had thought she might pass away so he didn’t think about what he could be signing away when she’d been comatose in the hospital. On the other hand, everything went to her parents if she died so maybe Sheldon was right about Leonard's not reading contracts well enough?

‘What!’ Leonard was looking unhealthy at the moment.

‘You should probably sit down, Leonard, you don’t look so good.’ Penny was enjoying this more than she should but even Kurt had more decency. At least, he was embarrassed when he was caught out cheating.

‘Penny, you can’t do this. You don’t even remember any of this. You don’t know the good times you are throwing away.’ Leonard looked like a sad little boy and sounded like it, too. It took a lot to keep Penny from punching him.

‘Good times I’m throwing away? I don’t have a kid on the way from someone I was cheating with, jackass!’ Penny was seething but she had one more thing to say. ‘I don’t have any memory of anything here. As far as I know, this is the first time I have ever seen this place and it is the last time I ever want to see you. But, I do have something to say for the old Penny.’ Penny took out the phone Howard had given her in the hospital with the breakup conversation. She played the whole of the conversation. She turned up the volume especially for the end. They all heard Leonard’s sarcastic challenge. ‘Yeah, she’s pregnant. When did you ever want a kid? I have responsibilities beyond a drunk never been actress. So what are you going to do, go all rodeo on my ass?’

‘You are not a good guy Leonard; you are a jackass ‘nice’ guy. You screwed up that Penny’s life.’ She waved the phone for emphasis. ‘You screwed up that poor woman’s life and I hope she takes what’s left of you to the cleaners and doesn’t let you screw up that poor kid’s life.’ She took a few steps towards Leonard watching him sweat. ‘Is that rodeo enough for you?’

Leonard had no idea what to say. He looked around at his friends at a loss. He had never told them about the argument and he had no way of talking his way out of how that conversation on the phone sounded. Penny walked to the front door. She saw Raj and Sheldon coming out of the bedroom with more of Leonard’s whiteboards and other things. ‘Sheldon, I’m going over to 4B. Let me know when the pizza gets here and the trash is thrown out.’

When the door shut behind Penny, Leonard tried to start explaining. ‘Hey guys, come on, you weren’t there.’

Sheldon stepped over to Leonard’s computer and pressed a key. Beverly Hofstadter appeared looking glacial, her everyday look. ‘Good afternoon, Beverly, I hope you are well. I trust you’ve seen the show?’

‘Good afternoon, Sheldon, I am well, and I'm glad you are looking well. Yes, I have seen the show, a very disappointing and predictable episode. Leonard, we need to talk.’

Leonard looked like he wished the floor would swallow him up. ‘Mom?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending is out there and coming along. Thanks to the folks reading, hopefully there's been something to enjoy here.


	15. Alpha-Sheldon to Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny gets home to 4B with Sheldon and they wonder what tomorrow might bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Influenced by Sliding Doors and Many Worlds Theory.

Alpha-Sheldon

‘Intellect makes for fine friends, but best friends really are more than that. I didn’t understand that until I lost you. I had always called Leonard my best friend but he was never the friend you were.’

 

Beta

Later after unpacking and setting up the apartment with Penny they settled down to a late night snack. The second batch of Meemaw’s snicker doodles had cooled down enough to eat and Sheldon was relaxing in an easy chair Penny had estimated would be in the perfect place for him. Her precision had been admirable. The ice tea was made with equal perfection.

‘Isn’t this nice, Penny, if we had a porch we could be an old married couple like my Meemaw and Pop-Pop.’

‘Hmm, well, a good husband would have chocolates for his exhausted wife.’ Penny was enjoying the snicker doodles, Sheldon was almost as good a baker as he was a physicist, after all.

‘I’m sorry; I didn’t think to buy any.’ Sheldon made a mental note to pick some up tomorrow.

‘A good husband would go out and get some.’ Penny was hopeful Sheldon might run to the 7-11.

‘I want a divorce.’ Sheldon was getting tired but the 7-11 was only a block down the street.

‘Good, on your way to the lawyer, get some chocolate.’ They laughed but couldn’t quite look at each other. Penny felt that conversation came awfully close to feelings she had never really connected to Sheldon. Penny saw the blush in Sheldon’s cheeks and wondered if he had similar thoughts.

‘Confectionery wishes aside, have you given any thought to tomorrow’s agenda, Penny?’

Penny sipped her tea and tried to remember her life from so long ago. She’d have to research herself before she had any idea what she could do. ‘My life’s a mess, Sheldon. I want to be an actress but I don’t have a job or money, my education sucks, the few roles I have gotten led nowhere, and I have enough baggage from my old relationships for two lifetimes.’

‘I would say you have summarized your shortfalls with admirable clarity and precision. Assuming those are the primary issues, we can formulate plans tomorrow which will begin addressing those issues in a way which will make your life less of a mess.’ Sheldon was glad to help his new friend. The planning would mean abandoning his paintball and other activities tomorrow since Penny’s problems did not have simple or quick solutions. He was curious why it felt so easy to change his schedule so abruptly for this near stranger he’d met only this morning.

‘I guess the first thing is a job. I thought about waitressing but there’s no money in that. I’d be working too much to really have time to study and I need that if I’m ever going to get anything but crap roles.’ Penny knew she couldn’t go back to the Cheesecake Factory. That would be restarting old patterns that didn’t work.

‘Pasadena, and the Los Angeles area at large, has numerous theater departments, studios, and allied industries. If you create a portfolio, I am sure we can locate jobs better paying than a waitress. You can work in your field and they would likely be willing to provide time, and perhaps money for study as well, more willing than would a restaurant, certainly.’ Sheldon had a few ideas about how to approach that though he might have to engage some odious characters to do so. Wheaton might be of use. The pride he would have to swallow but Penny needed the help.

‘That’s true but I have to handle the mess in here.’ Penny tapped her head and shook her head. She was in a failed marriage and pregnant, yesterday, and polishing off enough wine to support a local vineyard, and today just spoke for itself and that was without thinking about how she was living in her own episode of Quantum Leap.

‘There are services for that as well and fortunately, you are an actress.’ Sheldon smiled at Penny’s wry glare at the commentary on her profession. ‘It is not uncommon for actors and many other professionals in the entertainment industry to seek out counseling. The field does not attach the stigma to those who make use of those services that other professions do. Perhaps, that sanguine support is from all that time pretending to be other people?’

‘Thank you, Sheldon, is it the job that makes you crazy or do crazy people look for the job, is that it?’ Penny was only half joking.

‘Not at all, it is that highly creative people can have unique psychological issues that require unique solutions which ordinary people find through alcohol and coitus.’ Sheldon hoped Penny didn’t believe he was insulting her.

‘That is very true.’ Penny had to admit those ordinary solutions had never served her well. Maybe, therapy was something she should have looked into a lot sooner. She might not have screwed up so much of her life.

Penny and Sheldon chatted well into another batch of tea and Sheldon baked them some more snicker doodles for tomorrow by the time they decided to call it a night.

Sheldon was bewildered by the whirlwind of chaos Penny lived in. He couldn’t fathom how her mind worked. She was far more perplexing than any of the sciences he knew. He wanted very much to figure her out. She could assess and assemble fixtures and furniture with barely a glance at directions but believed in a world of psychics and astrologers. The books on her shelves were pulp romances while the others were new age mysticism and the rest were books on theater and acting. Those last, at least, made sense for her job. She flitted from one topic to the next without rhyme or reason yet her reasoning skill could beat him at chess multiple times. She seemed to be anarchy personified and yet Sheldon felt compelled to listen to her. She seemed to evince little knowledge of sci-fi or the sciences compared to him yet she could be insightful about their meaning to him in ways no one had ever expressed even with greater knowledge behind them.

The majority of the apartment was set up and it was just after midnight. Sheldon wanted to go to bed but he didn’t want to leave. It was a strange feeling to his orderly way of thought. Penny jarred his sense of order but he didn’t mind. He noticed it acutely but it didn’t bother him which was perverse to his sense of logic. Penny could see Sheldon’s apparent distress. ‘It’s getting late, I’m sorry I kept you so long, Sheldon.’

‘That’s quite alright. It has been a fascinating day but my sleep schedule will be severely affected, especially, if we are to make a schedule for your goals as well as the additional shopping and preparation to go with aiding those goals.’ Sheldon had been astonished at the little planning or preparation Penny had done in moving here to prepare for the set of tasks she had set out for herself. She had given ‘winging it’ a whole new dimension of meaning.

They walked to the door and Sheldon paused in the hallway. His innate nervousness started to come out. He wanted to find the right way to say good night. This morning Penny had been just the new neighbor across the hall. He hadn’t even wanted Leonard to invite her over but now he couldn’t figure out how to say good night. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to. Social niceties were a puzzle at the best of times and he often ignored them but now he wanted the right words to say good night but nothing felt true or accurate enough.

Penny could see his discomfort and could well imagine Sheldon’s trouble. She had years to see this many times, he was searching for what to say but emotional situations always had his brilliant mind looking for solutions to a problem he didn’t understand, his own feelings. That mind that could easily solve the most otherworldly math problems like she would a Cosmo crossword puzzle was stumped when it came to the simple interactions between people. This day had gone so well and Penny hoped Sheldon wouldn’t shut down now and run away. He did that when he was confronted by these situations and she needed him. He was her only link to sanity in this madness of reliving her past. She had an idea that might work; he was certainly familiar with it.

She shook her hair a bit, breathed deeply, and set her mind to act Vulcan for a moment. She raised her right hand in a Vulcan salute. ‘Live long and prosper, Sheldon Cooper.’ She hoped this would reach him and bring him out of his looking for the right words to say.

Sheldon stopped thinking about what to say. His whole focus was wrapped up in Penny’s green eyes and her waiting hand. There were no thoughts of germs, contamination, or ideas of social protocols anymore. He raised his hand to match hers. ‘Live long and prosper, Penelope Queen’. Sheldon felt the warm press of Penny’s smaller hand on his. He couldn’t think of how to end this contact and he certainly didn’t want to. This very strange woman was different in every way from the people he worked and lived with yet she seemed to understand him in ways none of them did. He hadn’t wanted to say hello when Leonard had greeted her this morning and now he didn’t want to say good bye.

Penny felt the warmth of Sheldon’s palm and felt the intensity of his gaze on her. It was the oddest moment of her day feeling the flush of heat in her stomach. This was Sheldon Cooper, she knew him in another lifetime when she hadn’t spent her first day with him, when she had wheedled him and Leonard into trying to get her TV from Kurt. She was with a very different Sheldon from then, he didn’t know her. Was she lying and taking advantage of him using her knowledge of him like some crazy stalker? 

She knew what triggered Sheldon and spent the day missing the triggers and it brought them here. The Sheldon who had been flirtatious in the morning had stepped outside his comfort zones in a dozen different ways today and always for her and without being asked. The crazy thought came into her head that she might have dated the wrong guy all along. This silly TV ritual now seemed more intimate than any kiss she’d ever had before and she didn’t want it to end.

Inside 4A, Leonard, Howard, and Raj watched the scene in the hallway through the security camera feed on Leonard’s laptop. Their mouths hung open and their brains frazzled trying to make sense of what they were seeing. The whole thing was just wrong. This was Sheldon and the hottest blonde chick they’d ever met. Leonard closed the laptop and the three sat back at a complete loss for words.

The silence went unbroken until Sheldon walked into the apartment. ‘Good evening, gentlemen. I would exchange banal pleasantries but it is past my bedtime. Please, keep the noise down.’ Sheldon continued on past them towards his room like it was any other day. 

Leonard caught his attention. ‘Sheldon, wanna catch us up with Penny?’

Raj chipped in. ‘Yeah, dude, are you going to see her again?’

Howard, too, wanted to get in on the know. ‘Yeah, ready to go Pon Farr on the rodeo babe?’

Sheldon swung around and he didn’t look happy. He took a few steps towards them looking like Anakin Skywalker about to go over to the Dark Side. 

‘No, Leonard, I do not want to catch you up. Penny is adamant that you gentlemen have no entitlement to know her or her activities. To the extent that you may interact with her, she will detail at the next roommate review meeting.’ Leonard nodded and kept his thoughts to himself. He’d known Sheldon long enough to know when talking to him was pointless.

‘Yes, Raj, I will meet Penny, tomorrow. I regret I will be unable to join you for paintball. Also, there will be no need to include my order in dinner, tomorrow. Penny and I will be busy for most of the day. I have agreed to help her with some rather extensive and detailed planning which will take up much of the entire day.’

‘Extensive and detailed planning, that sounds… nice.’ Raj had no idea what they could be planning but he wondered if it involved taking over the world.

‘Howard, I will not deign to respond to that. You have one strike for thinking it and another for saying it. You will be banished if you ever again say anything that disrespects or disturbs Penny.’ Sheldon glared once more at the three men. ‘Good chat, gentlemen. Good night.’

Leonard and his friends nodded and watched Sheldon walk off down the hall to his bedtime washing up. After a minute, Leonard sighed. ‘Guys, this is scary. Penny seems to understand Sheldon’s work, she has the same crazy list about Sheldon’s spot, and she can beat him at chess.’ Leonard wondered if she might be some kind of Blade Runner Replicant?

‘What about the two of them in the hall, just now, they looked like they were having some kind of Vulcan Mind Meld sex? That was pretty darn hot.’ Raj kept speculating on what kind of planning they could be doing tomorrow and if it involved spaceships or dimension hopping.

‘I think we could be looking at the start of an actual apocalypse.’ Howard summed up what they were all imagining. ‘They are making extensive and detailed plans tomorrow. Doesn’t that worry you? Sheldon might have found a mate. If they reproduce, they’ll create a race of Cylons who will wipe out humanity and take over the world.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is coming, eventually, thanks for reading to here. Hopefully, the story has given some entertainment to a few folks.


	16. Alpha-Sheldon to Gamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penny and sheldon embark on what to do with their apartments and their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Influenced by Sliding Doors and the Many Worlds Theory and because I think Penny could be served better in the show.

Alpha-Sheldon

‘You made me want to be better. Making you happy always made me feel better. That’s why I had to move to Geneva. Pasadena wasn’t making me happy anymore.’

Gamma

‘What do you wish to do about our apartments, Penny?’ Sheldon had a few ideas and he wanted to see what Penny had in mind so they could come up with something mutually beneficial.

‘I’d like to keep both, if we could.’ Penny was in no hurry to give up her independence. She didn’t remember being married but saw what it had cost her. She had no desire to get sucked into the small world of engineers the way her old self had. They were all great friends but she couldn’t share what she was with them the way she could with her theater friends.

‘I had the same line of thinking. I believe your finances along with mine should be able to support both apartments. The space would be beneficial because your work does require considerably more space than mine.’ Sheldon had been impressed by the amount of drafting equipment alone Penny had amassed. He had never fully appreciated the amount of architectural planning that went into creating a single set much less an entire show.

‘I might need more space, too, since I got the UCLA job in their theater department. They want me to do a classical Greek drama for my M.A. and then I need to put together a portfolio for submissions to the UK for the PhD. If I could get into LAMDA or the Royal Academy?’ Penny huffed a bit wondering if she was overreaching but she’d already gotten further than she thought she ever would. She couldn’t stop, now. ‘Yeah, I’ll need the space and a few therapists before this is over.’ She thought back on how she and Sheldon had started their living arrangement.

Penny had been mystified by the changes that must have gone on in her life. Amy had been really kind in the beginning but it had creeped her out to be called bestie all the time when she hardly knew the woman. She put it down to the accident that she couldn’t remember why they were friends and chosen to let it go at first but it did end up in an argument about Penny and Sheldon and the apartments.

The woman was a neurobiologist so Penny had hoped she might have some ideas of how to jog her memory. Amy had thought the sight of familiar stuff would do it but there wasn’t a hint of familiarity to anything in 4A. What had bothered Penny most wasn’t the unfamiliar stuff there but wondering where her stuff had gone? Stuff from before the marriage she had been in like her Care Bears or her sports stuff or her books on astrology and Tarot? Amy thought a lot of it was as ridiculous as Sheldon’s toys. Like the bestie thing, Amy was telling her how to behave and Penny wouldn’t have anything to do with that crap.

She had felt in her bones why there was so much evidence of drinking, though. She figured her old self wouldn’t have noticed how much of her was drowning in Leonard’s life if it was drowned in booze. The divorce had felt better with every box she had filled with a life she couldn’t remember and didn’t want. She had felt rewarded with any part of her past she recovered from that matrimonial coffin. It also set a pretty heavy divide between her and Amy. She was nice enough but there was too much Leonard like pushiness to her for Penny to feel they had ever really been friends. She had let her choices be selected for her once, apparently, Penny was determined that would never happen again. That conversation with Amy had been awkward.

***

‘Come on, bestie, these cute photos of you in that teddy with Leonard, you don’t remember a thing?’ Amy kept a lingering look on the teddy photo which made Penny’s skin crawl.

‘Nope,’ Penny took it and the rest of the photo pile and gave it to Sheldon to take to the incinerator. ‘and I really wish you would call me Penny instead of bestie.’

‘Why, aren’t we besties?’ Amy looked up is surprise.

‘Amy, I don’t remember you or the last twelve years of my life, so no, we’re not best friends until WE get to know each other.’ Boundaries, these 4A people really needed to learn about them.

‘What did I do? I am trying to help you here and I believe you are letting your trauma impact negatively on your friends.’ Amy didn’t understand what happened to Penny but she was very unlike her old self. Sheldon insisted that she was very much like her old self before she got involved with Leonard. It frustrated her the way Sheldon kept coming to Penny’s defense in everything.

Penny’s teeth hurt from how hard she ground them for a second. That was right out of Leonard’s playbook. ‘Amy, ‘my’ friends have been very supportive. Raj and Howard and have been princes about helping me. Bernadette has gone out of her way too many times to count to help me get my life back. My old acting friends have been better than I deserve after letting them fall out of my life for so long. And Sheldon, he has done more to help me get my life on track than I can ever repay him for. They all did what they did without my asking them to because they are friends just like I will stand up for them because I am their friend.’

‘How can you treat me so coldly? You wake up with a personality clearly impacted by trauma, treat your friends with atypical incivility, and deny anything is wrong when it is pointed out to you. Penny, you need professional help and as a neurologist I am qualified to make that recommendation.’ Amy wanted to get Penny to see what she clearly saw, that Penny was still a victim of trauma.

Penny shook her head and chuckled at the similarity to Leonard. The same appeals to academic authority, the same guilt tripping, the same passive-aggressive bullshit to get the dumb actress to jump for them that she had read about in Page-Penny’s diaries. ‘If it seems I’m treating you coldly, well, that’s your opinion but you don’t get to choose how I act, or who my friends are, or how I treat them. I will say this is how I treat people who do not respect me.’ Penny held up her hand to cut off Amy’s retort. ‘I am not asking for your respect, I don’t care, it’s up to you to respect me or not but I certainly don’t have to put up with you if you choose not to respect me.’

***

Sheldon waved at Penny. She was lost in her past again. He wondered if the reason Penny put so much energy into her future was because of how much of her past she had forgotten? It was times like these when he worried about her bogging down or blaming herself for not getting as far as she wanted when she’d first moved to Los Robles.

‘Hmm, did you say something, Sheldon?’ Penny came back from her distracted mood. That focus helped when she was working but it was sometimes embarrassing when she drifted off thinking in the middle of a conversation.

‘Keeping both apartments, I think it is very doable and it would be best if we just turned 4B into a workspace and you moved in here. I like the convenience of the office Leonard’s old room makes but it can be used as your bedroom just as well. There is ample space out here for my work and I have an office at the university, too.’ Sheldon thought it would be very advantageous for Penny to have some space separate from her work where she could relax.

‘That’s not a bad idea, you could put your office in the 4B bedroom and I’ll use the living room for my work. Then, we can both have separate work and living space, so long as you don’t mind the Care Bear collection on the shelves there.’ Penny pointed out the shelves she wanted.

‘Move my Enterprise models? That will require a Halo duel.’ Sheldon turned on the game and got Penny’s Hello Kitty controller.

‘Best of three.’ Penny took her place beside Sheldon and started the game.

Raj and Howard arrived with Thai food on time at 7pm. They had the Blu-ray of Wonder Woman that Penny asked them to pick up for her. Howard looked around at all the signs of packing and moving. ‘What’s up, guys, something wrong?’

Sheldon paused in his packing. ‘No, Penny and I have decided to move things so we can use 4B as work space and 4A as living space.’

‘So, why are you packing up the Enterprise models?’ Raj didn’t think they were allowed to be breathed on the way Sheldon cared for them.

‘I have decided to move them into my new office in 4B.’ Sheldon explained in his most dignified voice.

‘You tried betting against Penny again, didn’t you?’ Howard had to laugh.

‘Something unnatural possesses that woman when there’s a bet involved.’ Sheldon moved his models to the admittedly superior display shelves Penny had designed for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is out there and I hope the trip has some enjoyment for the folks who have read to here. Thanks for coming along.


	17. Alpha-Sheldon to Alpha-Sheldon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Sheldon after Penny's death?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Influenced by Sliding Doors the characters are Big Bang Theory's toys, I'm just playing with them.

Alpha-Sheldon

Sheldon opened his valise again and brought out a letter. ‘The move changed everything. I did it. This is the notification that I won the Nobel Prize.’ Sheldon folded the letter and placed it by the headstone in an empty flower vase at the stone’s base.

‘Sometimes, I wondered why I worked so hard for it. Sitting in that hospital, I would have given up on it if it would have brought you back. That’s really why I went to Geneva. You would have gone all rodeo on me if I had given up.’

 

Alpha-Sheldon

The elevator opened on the third floor and Sheldon saw several boxes sitting outside the open door of apartment 302. His guide, Doctor Reh of the Cern Institute was happy to see Dr. Cooper’s colleague, Dr. Banrion was around. 

‘Let’s make sure your belongings have arrived, then we can check on Dr Banrion.’

Sheldon nodded at the wisdom of the course of action and Dr Reh unlocked 301 for Sheldon. The movers had left many boxes, all unpacked, but it appeared his things had arrived unscathed so far as a cursory glance went. ‘It will take time to make a thorough check, but this seems satisfactory, Dr. Reh.

‘Good, let’s see how Dr. Banrion is doing.’ Dr. Reh led Sheldon across the hall and pressed the doorbell.

The bell was answered by the sound of a very distinct Irish accented question in German. ‘Hallo, ist das der Mechaniker?’

‘Nein, Dr. Banrion, it is Dr. Reh with your new colleague from America, Dr. Cooper.’

A woman with very long, very dark red hair came to the door. She had wire cutters and several feet of cable in her hands that she put down on the table near the door. Sheldon was struck by her green eyes which were the same shade as Penny’s and she was Penny’s height as well. ‘Good morning, doctors, I don’t suppose either of you can set up a TV cable system?‘

‘I apologize, Doctor, the cable service is one of those mysteries of the cosmos that Cern has concluded can not be solved and is better left to the dark arts of the cable providers.‘ Dr. Reh had long given up dealing such things for his library. It was much better that way.

‘Well, good morning Dr. Cooper, Fidelma Banrion, pleased to meet you.‘ She offered her hand to her new workmate.

‘Good morning, Sheldon Lee Cooper, please call me Sheldon.‘ He shook Fidelma’s hand without too much hesitance, he hoped. He had been trying to make some efforts with introductions, at least. Fidelma’s hands had a roughness to them that told Sheldon she must like to work with them.

‘Please, call me Fi, then, we are going to be working together a lot.‘ Fidelma invited the men inside for some tea she had just started brewing up.

‘Thank you, doctor, but I must be going. Please, excuse an old man.’ Dr. Reh wanted to leave the new colleagues to find their own society without an old boss looking over their shoulders.

They all said their goodbyes and Sheldon and Fidelma were left to themselves. Sheldon accepted the tea gratefully.

‘Sorry, things are not more comfortable, the movers got everything in but the rest is up to me. Did they leave your place the same?’ Fi sipped her tea and compared what she knew of Sheldon Cooper to what she saw in front of her. His reputation as a researcher was formidable if with a few quirks from his early days the man in front of her, though, looked more a teenager with his comic book character shirt under his jacket.

‘They did, I’d say there is as much to be done in my apartment as there is here. You might even be ahead of the game.’ The bell rang and the repairman called out. Sheldon watched Fidelma explain the work in excellent if heavily Irish accented German. What he noticed more was the hairpiece she wore pinning back her hair on the right side, it looked very much like one of Penny’s Penny Blossoms. It was a yellow and green piece that stood out in Fidelma's thick red tresses.

Fidelma came back to her mug of tea and sat down. ‘I hope you don’t mind but I asked him to take a look at your cable after he was done here. There’s no knowing when you’ll ever get one of them back, at least not in Ireland.’

‘It is the same in the US, Dr. Reh may be correct in his assumption about dark arts practiced among them.’ Sheldon had had many frustrations with cable providers when Howard was unavailable to work his mechanical expertise.

They chatted about the institute and compared their knowledge and experience of the place. Fidelma’s work in Dark Matter research had been known to Sheldon for years. He was excited to get the chance to work with her in person. There were several lines of inquiry that he was sure were relevant to his own research on String Theory. When the repairman finished with Fi’s service they moved things over to Sheldon’s apartment.

Sheldon opened a few boxes to check the condition of the contents. Fi got excited when she saw the Doctor Who collection. ‘You are a fan, me too, Eccleston, too short a run, yes or no?’

‘Yes,’ Fi’s smile told Sheldon they might be of a like mind, ‘Rose, yes or no?’

‘Sarah Jane, my father wouldn’t respect any other answer and I respect his wisdom on that.’ She picked up series four. ‘But I prefer Donna, us gingers need to stick together.’

They chatted about the show and Sheldon was happy to learn Fi was a fan of many of the same shows that he was and had a number of collections herself. While they talked Sheldon opened his briefcase and took out the Disneyland photo of Penny and him and put the frame on the room’s central bookshelf. Fi came over to look at the picture.

‘Is this your girlfriend, Sheldon?’ Fi was curious; the picture was clearly from at least a decade ago or more by the clothing and hairstyle.

‘No, no, that is an old friend, Penny. She died a few years ago, a drunk driver crashed into her.’ Looking at Fi, Sheldon got a closer look at the hairpiece and he was sure it was one of Penny’s pieces.

‘I’m sorry, Sheldon. It’s a hard thing losing friends. May I?’ Fi wanted a closer look at the photo and Sheldon handed it to her. ‘Is Penny short for Penelope?’ Fi was struck by Sheldon’s mood over the picture.

‘Yes, Penelope, she just went by Penny, Penelope sounded too grand for rodeos in rural Nebraska. And what of Fidelma, was that for the Irish princess and saint?’

‘More for the Odyssey. My father is a classics professor and he always loved the description of Queen Penelope, Faithful and Wise, so I got named Fidelma Sofia.’ She handed the picture back to Sheldon and noticed his staring at her hairpiece. He’d been looking at it off and on ever since they had tea. ‘Are you a fan of jewelry, Sheldon?’

‘Caught my staring? Not as such, but your hairpiece looks familiar. Is it a Penny Blossom?’

Fi chuckled a bit. ‘For a man who doesn’t know jewelry, you got that in one.’ She took the piece out of her hair and gave it to Sheldon to have a closer look. ‘I had a bad break up not long after college, on my birthday no less. I saw it online and it was one of the first things that made me feel happy in weeks at the time. I’ve worn it for luck ever since. I don’t know if they even make them anymore.’

‘They don’t, Penny and I used to make these when we lived in Pasadena. It was a small business of hers. This is one of hers, I recognize her gluing pattern.’ Sheldon smiled and glanced at the photo on the bookshelf. Penny would have told him it was a sign or some such hokum. He handed the piece back to Fi.

‘So much the luckier, then, she made a very important piece here for me.’ Fi put the Penny Blossom back in her hair.

Sheldon signed the repairman’s paperwork when he came to say the work was done and went back to Fi. ‘Lucky? Sentiment I can accept, but luck, that’s just magical thinking. When is your birthday since that Penny Blossom is quite attached to it if unfortunately.’

‘Dec 2nd, so there’s no luck or magic in the life of Sheldon Cooper, then?’ Fi noticed the funny look he was giving the photo.

‘Penny would say there was and she was very faithful and wise.’ Sheldon looked at the work to make the apartment habitable and Fi’s looked no less chaotic. ‘Our apartments set up is going to take considerable time. We should inventory what we need and shop before trying to set up or the stores will be closed on us.’

‘Good idea and I saw an Italian restaurant nearby. We should eat out instead of trying to move and cook.’ Fi got out her phone to check the local restaurant guide about the restaurant she had in mind.

Sheldon saw Fi’s search on her phone and thought of Penny. ‘Let’s let them surprise us instead of looking them up. We’ll make an adventure of it.’

Fi nodded her agreement and turned off her phone. She opened the front door with a flourish. ‘Well, as both the Doctor and you Americans say, Geronimo.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is getting closer. Thanks for reading this far.


	18. Alpha-Sheldon to Gamma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheldon's annual visit to Penny gets closer to the end, where will things end up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Influenced by Sliding Doors, Big bang Theory owns the toys, I'm just playing with them.

Alpha-Sheldon

‘Is it odd to hear me talk about feelings? It still is for me but that’s what coming here has always been about, Penny. You are a perpetual feeling.’

Gamma

‘Say it!’ Penny straddled Sheldon on the picnic blanket and tickled him again.

‘No.’ He had missed her for the two years she’d been away. ‘I told you I missed you multiple times here, today, and on Skype every time we spoke.’

‘That’s not good enough, ‘Dr.’ Cooper.’ She started tickling him again.

‘No, ah… it’s a liberal arts degree…ahh… it doesn’t count!’ Two years at The London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art, Penny was going to hear him say it right now and kept on tickling.

‘The Liberal Arts are what started universities, they are the oldest part of universities, Sheldon.’ Penny threatened to start tickling him again.

‘Then, get a degree in Theology, that’s what they started with. My mother will love you.’ Sheldon tried wrestling Penny off him but she was very strong and rodeo skills had application to wrestling as well.

‘Love this, say it!’ Penny went to tickle him again.

‘Alright, Dr. Queen, fine, are you happy, now?’ Sheldon could feel the smile of ecstasy on Penny’s face. He’d felt that kind of feeling when he’d won the Stevenson Award, validated.

‘Hearing it from you makes me happy, Sheldon, I wouldn’t have made it here without you.’ Penny lay down on the picnic blanket next to Sheldon and looked up at the clouds above St. James Park.

‘That’s ridiculous, Penny, it was all your work. Dramatic arts are as much a mystery to me as Quantum Mechanics is to you.’ Sheldon was amazed at the way Penny had thrown herself into theater these last five years.

Penny rolled over on her side and put her hand on Sheldon’s chest. ‘No, Sheldon, it’s not. I don’t remember it, but I spent twelve years of nothing but getting drunk stuck to a guy that only wanted me for sex and to look pretty and to never be a challenge to his ego.’ She snuggled up closer to Sheldon. ‘I did the work; I loved it all, but you believed I could do it. Every step of the way was so much easier, better, with that.’

Sheldon breathed in the long missed green apple scent of Penny’s hair. ‘Are you ready to come home, yet, Odysseus, now that Troy has fallen?’

‘Oh, literary allusions, we’ll make a liberal arts major of you, yet.’ Penny giggled sat up. ‘Yes, and I have some ideas for a play I want to put on.’

‘Penny, this is exactly what Odysseus did on the trip back, always, just one more thing.’ Sheldon sat up and rummaged through their picnic basket for some scones and the thermos of tea.’

‘Well, he didn’t have a Nobel Prize winning genius to help him baffle the gods.’ Penny took the tea Sheldon poured for her and a scone to nibble on.

***

Three years later

Penny opened the door and greeted a special delivery Currier. She signed for the package and read the address after he left. ‘Sheldon, there’s a package here from Meemaw.’ Penny started towards Sheldon’s room until she heard him on the phone in conference with his mother.

‘That’s not relevant, mommy.’ Penny knew it had to be disturbing when Sheldon slipped into calling Mary mommy. She put the package on the coffee table and picked up her book and waited on the couch for Sheldon to get off the phone.

‘Good lord, this is worse than the inquisition. At least, they finally burned you at the stake.’ Sheldon stalked out of his room in a dudgeon and sat down on the couch with Penny.

‘Come on, she only wants us to get married, is that worse than being burned at the stake?’

‘Suddenly, the marriage bug has hit you? Please, say it hasn’t?’ Sheldon and Penny, for different reasons, had come to the same conclusion about the relevance of marriage to them both.

‘It hasn’t, not even close, but my family doesn’t call every day with a new argument from their prayer circle. One big Christmas guilt trip satisfies my folks.’ Penny picked up the package on the table. ‘Meemaw sent you something. I’ll bet there’s something in there that will make you feel better.’

‘Meemaw, oh goody.’ Sheldon’s cloud of funk lifted anytime his grandmother was involved. He opened the package and read the letter inside. ‘Et tu, Meemaw?’ 

He handed the letter to Penny and opened the small box wrapped up in the package. He offered it wordlessly to Penny who was reading the letter with stunned silence. She finished the letter and her eyes glanced down at the box in Sheldon’s hand. It held Meemaw’s wedding ring. ‘Holy crap on a cracker.’

Their families had watched the Tony Awards last week. They all wanted to see if Penny would win anything. Best Director and Best New Play kept their phones ringing very late into the night with congratulations. The interview the next day on The Today Show with a Tony Award winner and a Nobel Prize winner together led to questions about their relationship that they hadn’t gotten into with their families. Life Partners didn’t translate into anything meaningful in Nebraska or Texas. Their phones had gotten considerably busier after that.

Three hours later. ‘Sheldon, it’s not that bad, and it will make your mom and Meemaw happy.’ Penny laid out the advantages one more time.

‘Church weddings are pointless. They have no validity in law and neither of us wants to get married, anyway.’ Sheldon was satisfied with the life he and Penny had developed. He saw no reason for this sham marriage.

‘You know your mom’s church group has been making her life crazy and she has made yours almost as bad. This will get everyone off our backs.’ Penny wiggled her fingers on her left hand. Meemaw had sent her wedding ring to let Sheldon know she, too, had seen the Tony Awards show on TV and the interview afterwards. She was delighted Penny and Sheldon were committed to each other but Mary and the church group had been making her life just as crazy as theirs.

Meemaw made the suggestion of having a church service to Penny and Sheldon and not bothering with an official registering so long as they didn't tell Mary. The church group all wanted to know who the Best Director and Best New Play woman was that had been living with Sheldon according to the Today Show interview and when they would be coming down and get married. Meemaw was pretty sure none of them would notice if the marriage never went to city hall. Half of them thought that was just the devil's own playground, anyway, so they probably wouldn't even care.

‘It would be just as effective for us to move to Europe. Doctor Banrion at CERN is anxious for me to go there as soon as possible before someone else snaps up the Nobel Prize winner.’ Sheldon had Penny in his life. There was nothing any church could add to that.

‘You would think and if there wasn’t an Internet or telephones, the Atlantic Ocean might be enough to slow your mother down but I think she’d just swim on over after us.’ Sheldon had to admit the truth of that. Meemaw was happy however they were living so long as Sheldon and Penny were happy but his mother was too Christian to let her Shelly live in sin with an actress of all things even if she was an award winner and a professor.

‘I suppose this would placate her. And, she does think doing this before God is the only officiating needed.’ Sheldon did see the advantage in his mother’s beliefs there.

‘Yes, and your Meemaw would love to see you walking up that aisle. And, think of the fun for me as an actress. One marriage I don’t remember that was over before I heard of it and, now, another that is all make believe. I think I could make a pretty good musical comedy of all this.’ Penny was imagining the scenarios with glee.

‘How do you negotiate the abyss between chaos and logic that is your working mind?’ Sheldon had always suspected Penny’s intelligence but he’d been astounded by her application following the accident. He had studied the effects of brain trauma on people but he’d never seen the like with Penny. She’d thrown herself into making her name in theater with the same drive he had for physics and she’d accomplished nearly as much in her field. Yet, she was still casting horoscopes for people’s birthdays. Howard’s mom swore by them.

‘It’s a great big ridiculous universe, Sheldon, and I like to play with it.’ She gave her life partner a kiss on the cheek and went to call Mary to tell her they’d be coming for a bridal fitting as soon as she and Sheldon had a date in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is in sight, thanks for reading.


	19. Alpha-Sheldon to Beta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The arctic had to happen eventually. The Irish phrase Penny is speaking is in the end notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end. Influenced by Sliding Doors, I'm just playing with The Big Bang's toys.

Alpha-Sheldon

Sometimes, people ask why I keep coming back here every year. They never understood us… I could always talk to you about feelings. They were a mystery to me like quantum mechanics was to you. You helped me understand them looked out for me when I needed it. Sometimes, I look at that Disney picture and I feel like you still do. That’s hokum, of course, but whatever made logical sense about you?

Beta

Sheldon closed the investment portfolio Penny had wanted him to recheck before he left for the arctic. ’Penny, your insight into tech investment is astonishing when your lack of background in the field is taken into account.’

’You think so, Moonpie? I have you guys to fill in the gaps, you know.’ Penny looked over Sheldon’s check list one more time.

’Only Meemaw calls me Moonpie, Penny. While flattering, I have to wonder why you want to be an actress when you could give Warren Buffet a run for his money as The Wizard of Omaha?’

Penny had never tried to explain her foreknowledge. She had discussed theories of physics that had sounded like what happened to her but it always seemed there had to be machinery and technology so she would let it go. Sometimes, her therapist would almost make her feel like she could forget about it or pretend it was just a delusion but then some disaster or tragic event made the News that she knew would happen and she would be back to wondering what happened to her and if it could happen again?

‘Too much stress and no rewards in that kind of work, Sheldon; there’s nothing like a packed house and a standing ovation.’

Penny had kicked off more than a few debates with Sheldon about the morality and ethics of time travel. The first time was after watching Terminator and Reese’s description of time travel. The light and pain, it sounded so much like what it had felt like to her that they hadn’t even noticed the sunrise until Sheldon felt the sunlight through the window. Sheldon didn’t know if he was more surprised by their having debated the topic until well after dawn or by how grimly serious Penny had taken the conversation. Penny’s interest in the topic did expand his collection of time travel movies and TV series and their debates became legendary among their friends. Today, she had a much more personal disaster in mind. 

‘And, I must commend you on your knowledge of Star Trek; Zachary Quinto was just announced as the new Mr. Spock in the reboot movie in production.’ Sheldon came over to the bags with a few pieces of delicate equipment he wanted to pack personally.

‘Actors talk; it’s really not a big society, even in Hollywood.’ Penny wondered what Sheldon was thinking about. He really didn’t do scatter gun questions and topics but he left off any more questions to talk about leaving for the arctic next week.

‘Are you sure you’ll be alright here all summer? Meemaw said she’d love to host you for the summer.

Penny ruffled her hair and stretched her shoulders and neck after all the bending, packing, repacking, and checking she had done. ‘No, I’ll be fine. I just started that summer program intensive for my M.A. at UCLA and I’d have to take half the apartment to work on it down in Texas. It’s easier to stay here. I told her I’d come down to visit during the July beak.’

Penny stepped over several piles of equipment and clothing to sit on the couch in nervous agitation. So many things had changed in the two years she and Sheldon had been dating. Leonard had moved out a few months after ‘the incident’ because he didn’t want to live with a nutcase running around. He didn’t use those words, certainly not to her, but while it was understandable, she was happy he left. Penny couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. He sometimes came over with Raj and Howard for game nights and the few times she’d been there she noticed he always kept eyeing her and she was sure it wasn’t just from nervousness.

Howard and Raj had changed a lot. Howard never made any smarmy cracks around her and he seemed even more nervous to make them around Sheldon’s earshot at work according to him. Raj had changed even more than Howard. It had started at The Cheesecake Factory of all places. Raj had introduced his sister Priya to everyone. Priya and Penny had hit it off well together and everyone was having a good time and then Leonard showed up and had to fixate on Priya. Stories were exchanged and girls talked in the washroom. Leonard’s first date with Priya was a disaster for him and hilarious for her. She couldn’t believe how accurate Penny’s description of him was right down to the come on lines to get her to sleep with him. She came to the apartment with Raj the next day to tell Penny all about it. In the middle of their laughter, Raj stunned them both into silence by telling Penny how grateful he was to her for telling his sister about Leonard. Raj was like brothers everywhere, no one was good enough for their sisters, least of all guys they knew. Priya figured Raj must have started thinking of Penny like a second sister after, in his mind, helping warn her off Leonard. Just in case, she warned Penny about how annoyingly overprotective Indian brothers could be in case Raj started being a pain.

A lot of things had changed from the world she knew before all this, people, relationships, events but Penny was sure Leonard hadn’t changed. He was going to the arctic just like before. Penny made up her mind, she couldn’t take a chance on Sheldon getting screwed over again. ‘You know, Sheldon, Leonard just started dating that Vicky?’

Sheldon rolled his eyes in annoyance at that. ‘Yes, he’s talked far more about her than the expedition for the last twelve days and fourteen hours.’

‘Yeah, I guessed he would. Be careful, Sheldon, don’t trust him.’ Penny crossed her arms defensively and rocked back and forth a bit on the couch. ‘Leonard is stupid, spiteful, and passive-aggressive about women and he will screw over anyone for a relationship, even if it’s just in his head. He feels entitled to women he’s attracted to which is pretty much any woman he thinks is doable.’

Sheldon sat down next to Penny. He had noticed her agitation all day which spoke to him about how nervous she must really be. Sheldon knew how bad he was at reading people even Penny despite all the time past so for him to notice it made him concerned for her. It’s why he’d hoped Penny would spend the summer down in Texas with Meemaw.

‘Penny, I know your history and your set aversion to Leonard which is not without accurate and valid reasons.’ He shook his head with a wry smile at her derisive snort there. ‘But, Leonard is still my friend. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. Besides, he’s a scientist and he respects the work.’

Penny furrowed her brow and chewed her bottom lip anxiously. This wasn’t her time so maybe it would be different but she couldn’t take the chance. ‘Sheldon, t'hy'la,’ she raised her hand in the Vulcan salute that had stopped being just a silly TV ritual for them and become something deeply personal between them, a signal for total truth and total listening. Sheldon matched her hand and waited for her to speak her truth. ‘You’re right. I don’t like Leonard and I don’t trust him, not where women are involved. He wants Vicky and every day he’s in the arctic his jealousy will eat away at him, convinced she’s cheating on him, or stringing him along, or left him for someone else, whatever, but he will do anything, anything at all, to get back to her as fast as he can.’ Penny remembered what went wrong in the arctic. ‘Don’t release any results or make any claims. Check everything a hundred times, especially success. He isn’t just jealous of Vicky, t'hy'la. He is jealous of you. You’re smarter than he is. You’re more successful. And most galling to him, you got the girl he wanted. Now, you’re in the way of another girl he wants and on the brink of even more success. Don’t trust him.’

Sheldon’s respect for a colleague rejected the idea of sabotage and his respect for a friend did, too, but Penny was so much better at reading people than he was that he couldn’t ignore her advice, not when she spoke like this. ‘I will be careful, Penny, t'hy'la, as you wish. No results go out until we get back.’

Penny nodded, praying things would work out differently. ‘And watch out for Howard and Raj. They are good guys, but they can go along with Leonard all too easily. He knows how to play them.’

‘I will,’ Sheldon wanted to put this down to Penny being influenced by her past before she had moved to Los Robles but the last two years with her had more than proven her predictions when they spoke like this. Sometimes, she could almost make him reconsider her predilection for psychics. He was intrigued how this one would turn out.

Penny dove into her M.A. work with a vengeance. It kept her from mad anxiety about what could be happening in the arctic. Prof. Simmons was an expert on Greek drama and assigned them to put on a production of The Athenian Women. He was impressed by Penny’s work and amused by the various grad students’ attempts to get her to go out with them when they heard her boyfriend was abroad. She put them off with being too busy on the work so often he started teasing her about Penelope and her weaving fending off her suitors while waiting for her Odysseus to return. Penny laughed saying Sheldon could describe the physics of shooting a bow but he would probably kill himself if he tried to use a real one. When one especially persistent jerk wouldn’t take no for an answer, one day, she set up four axe heads and said if he could put an arrow through all four and hit the target on the other side she would have one coffee with him and then he would shut up and go away and leave her alone. He told her to get real because this was real life and not a Greek myth. When Penny put an arrow through the axe heads on the first shot, he slunk away and everyone stopped asking her out. All that bow hunting in Nebraska hadn’t gone to waste. Prof. Simmons always called her Artemis after that.

The day Sheldon and the guys returned there was radio silence. She knew they had gotten back alright because she’d called just about everyone at CalTech. She finally got something from Leslie Winkle. She was chuckling about something having screwed up in the arctic but there were no details, just every Dean and the Board of Governors were in conference with Pres. Siebert. After she hung up, Penny thought she was going to go crazier than the first day she’d started out on this mad holiday. When Sheldon, finally, came through the front door she leaped on him in a bear hug and cried uncontrollably. He petted Penny and half carried her to the couch where they sat and she cried. It took Sheldon a while to get her to talk.

‘I’m back, in one piece, nothing bad happened, what’s wrong?’ Sheldon hadn’t seen Penny cry like this since their first car ride when she’d told him about her painful past before moving to the building.

‘Sheldon, I called and called and finally talked to Leslie. She said there was some big meeting over the arctic, some screw up, and I was so scared for you. What happened?’ Penny had calmed down and Sheldon seemed more nervous about her than the arctic. She started wondering if she had panicked over nothing.

‘Well, my mother might have you burned for a witch but that’s about the worst thing for us.’ Sheldon smiled at Penny’s scrunched and puzzled glare. ‘Seems you were right, Leonard tried a little sabotage but you were wrong about one or two things. Howard got antsy and told Raj what Leonard was up to and Raj dug up Leonard’s little can opener and proof of his shenanigans. Funny thing, he kept yelling at Leonard about how he could do this to you. Howard’s at home happy to still have a job, Raj is coming over at 7pm with Priya to have dinner with us, and Leonard is having a long and uncomfortable meeting with Siebert and the Board of Governors that will likely end his career in about forty-three more minutes when Siebert will have to leave for a Governor’s Banquet, tonight.’

Penny hugged Sheldon and put her head on his chest to listen to him breath. She was asleep in seconds and Sheldon let her lay there and stroked her hair. Raj and Priya found them sitting there on the couch, Penny still asleep in Sheldon’s lap. ‘This was harder on her than it was on us, Raj. How about we try lunch tomorrow?’

 

Ten years later

Dec 12, 2018

Penny was pretty nervous all day. Sheldon knew why. He shared her concern. Their legendary arguments about time travel had turned into occasional epics but only Sheldon and Penny knew why. It was enough for Penny that she could share this with someone. They both waited for this day, the day she had jumped. When they heard the car crash outside the building, Penny jumped down the flights of stairs to see what happened. Sheldon caught up with her outside the 7-11. The police were just arriving with the firetrucks and an ambulance. The EMTs were making black humor jokes about how drunks always survived wrecks unscathed. Everyone thanked god it was just cars gone to the wrecking yard, tonight. When Sheldon hugged Penny he felt her sag into him. 

'Are you OK, Penny?'

'I was just thinking about tomorrow.' Penny sighed and turned to Sheldon with a smile.

'What about tomorrow?'

'I have absolutely no idea, and it's wonderful.' She got up on her toes, cupped Sheldon's face and kissed him.

 

2 years later

‘A ghra mo chroi, are you ready?’ Penny thought her Irish accent was getting better, filming started next month and she was determined get the County Mayo accent right to pass for the Irish pirate queen, Grace O’Malley. She couldn’t believe she got the part at all but three years at Trinity College had given her some practice with the accent and language, and her old roommate from school there had been an invaluable help.

’Almost, Penny, but this isn’t the time for coy games, we need to leave for the Royal Concert Hall.’ Sheldon was frustrated that the tie wouldn’t arrange itself properly. He looked in the bedroom mirror in consternation.

’Come here, sweetie, and let me give it a try. I do know a thing or two about costume design.’ Penny began rearranging the bow tie Sheldon insisted on wearing. 

The red bow tie had been worn by Matt Smith as the Doctor in the season 5 finale, Big Bang, so Sheldon put aside his scruples about birthday presents for this gift from Penny. ’Really, you are an actress, not a costume designer. I saw your grades for that class.’

’I still did my PhD program just as fast as you did.’ Penny smirked, that fact irked Sheldon to no end.

’Hm, in the liberal arts, and I have two PhDs.’ Sheldon was proud of that.

’Woop di do, I have two Oscars, and a limo sent for me. I could let you hitchhike, Mr. First Time Nobel.’ Penny finished tying the bow tie and had Sheldon check the fit in the mirror.

’All that therapy and it’s still a competition with you. What am I to do with you, woman.’ Sheldon was proud of how far Penny had come since he had first met her, more than he was of the Nobel, not that he’d tell anyone that. He practically owed the basis of his theories to her after he came to believe her story about being from the future.

They heard the suite door close out in the living room. ’I’m back you two, are we ready to go to the ceremony?’ Fidelma’s teasing Irish cadence drifted through the suite.

’I’m sure I can think of something in the limo, Moonpie.’ Penny put her hands up to Sheldon’s face and stood up on tiptoes to kiss him. Instead of the expected kiss, she undid the tie in a quick pull. ’But, first, practice fixing the tie like I showed you.’

Sheldon looked down at the length of cloth with an abashed smirk. He listened to Penny’s retreating laugh out in the living room of the suite where she met her old Trinity roommate and now his CERN colleague. ’Fi, did you get the horoscope I made for your parents?’

Sheldon shook his head with a happy smirk while he retied the bow tie. ’Only Meemaw calls me Moonpie, you vicious little minx. Why did I ever marry you?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A ghra mo chroi: Love of my heart


	20. Alpha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheldon finishes up his chat with Penny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Influenced by the film Sliding Doors. The Big Bang is owned by others, I'm just playing with the toys.

Alpha

’Fi was a great help in winning the Nobel. I don’t think I could have done it without her. I wish you could have met her. I think you two would have liked each other.’ Sheldon looked down at the car at the bottom of the hill. He could see the ever present Penny Blossom in her fiery red hair from here. 

'Fidelma is so much like you in so many ways. She loves horoscopes and psychics as much as physics and engineering. Her parents gave her a love of theater that is profound and she can dissect a play with the same precision she can bring to abstract analysis on dark matter. Mostly, she doesn't let me get stuck in my routines.'

Sheldon reached into the valise again and took out a photo. It was from the New York Comic Con. He was dressed as the tenth Doctor, David Tennent, and Fidelma was dressed as Donna Noble in the fourth series finale. He placed the picture in the vase with the Nobel letter.

’Knowing her has been better than this Nobel Prize. I bet you never thought I’d say something like that. I just wish you could have been there for the Nobel. And, especially, the wedding.'

'We got married in Ireland just before we came here. We are going on to the Maldives from here for the honeymoon. I think you would have liked her parents. Her mother used to be an actress like you.'

It’s funny to think about. Fidelma Sofia, it means faithful and wise, that’s how Homer described Penelope but I guess you might have known that being an actress. Fi thought it was funny when I told her your family name was Queen, she said that’s what Banrion means in Irish. Maybe, the Doctor was right about miracles in this ridiculous universe. I’d like to think so because I feel happy again. I hope in some other universe you are, too.’ Sheldon looked around the empty cemetary, he’d said what he had to say for this trip. ’Until next time.’

Sheldon walked slowly back down to the car and got in. Fidelma paused the video. ’Feel good about your chat, Sheldon?’

’Yes, but not about this cold. We should do this in better weather next time, maybe Spring. We need to hurry if we are going to make that plane.’ Sheldon glanced at his watch and calculated the time to get to the hotel, gather their things, get to the airport, and the rest of the eventualities before boarding.

’We’ve got plenty of time, Sheldon. Don’t worry.’ Fi started up the car and pulled away from the curb.

’Hardly, we don’t have more than thirty minutes to put things together at the hotel. That’s not nearly enough time to spend it dallying.’ Sheldon was busy checking the latest weather reports.

’Dr. Cooper, you would be amazed at what Mrs. Cooper’s dallying can make a man feel in less than thirty minutes.'

Sheldon just laughed at that. Penny really would have liked Fi; he had no doubt of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading:)


End file.
